第七封信

生命的意义

2009-08-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

I guess it's quite true that people do grow under pressure. what i am referring to here isnt physical growth (in fact under pressure, a person will tend to wither and suffer)and even intellectual improvements ( it's in-born).It's more of how one moulded (flexible) to become more tolerant in face of provocation, to be able to take more burden/ bear more responsibilities in face of stress/ever-increasing demands from ppl ard. this is quite a common scenario that we all somehow will face in phases of our lives.. and it shows how unmotivated humans are. But that makes these achievements all the more satisfying. But.. let's face it, no one wants to go thru that. i also hope the ordeal will be easier on me. But somehow, it seems nv ending.

But of cos i am optimistic. Because when there's a will, there's a way.

Hong Kong Trip 2009.

2009-05-09T17:42:00.010+08:00

Sharon's stressing me for the pic Lol. ok shall upload some here for sharing.

The trip's flight was early 6 plus am, but Zuyao asked us to meet at 3.30am.. for chit chatting -.- I want my sleep desperately then! But a few pics taken before setting off.

And off we go!

The flight was not very comfy, but still manage to catch some sleep.

Then reach HK at ard 11am. The follow is a pic of HK international airport. I still like Changi's one! Proud of our airport!
The weather was cooling.. just like last yr in S.Korea. So cool!! Natural Aircon. And we straight headed to our hotel at Jordan, Novotel.

And straight, we headed for our first meal in HK. It's a cafe oppo our hotel. Then we settle in and ordered our food.. some of us is really famished! The food in HK generally is quite expensive, ranging from S$ 4 for porridge to $9 for normal meal (come in set) portion is a bit bigger than sg's.

Anyway, HK's special and unique cos they are disorganised. Disorganised in a sense that things seem random and familiar to how life should be like.. Sg's r too structured.. everywhere is the same.. everyone's the same too. LOL.. look at how unsafe the buildings in HK are! But i like it!

Then straight, we headed to central aka 中寰 where the economy heartbeat of HK is. It's a nice place with magnificent skyscapers and beautiful landscapes as the backdrop.

and we headed to take the tram up the almost 45 degree hillside to the famous 山顶! Beautiful sceneries along the way!

2009-05-09T03:41:00.002+08:00

My colleagues and my enemy had been complaining about my lonely blog. So must take time off to pei pei ta.

Went to HK and back, without any swine or what ever virus infestation, back in SG safely!
Eh.. but i dun wan update my pics first.. damn shag. Tml is bball day at Eunos. i think i must control my temper cos i will be sleeping v late today. gd day!

New breathe of life

2009-03-29T23:09:00.002+08:00

Hey! I am back!

Had that someone said that' this liyong hor, have no life de' cos someone inferred my life from my blog, which is seldom updated. Well! I can say that the person is very true! Hey, are you still reading my blog? Cont' to read ok? And u also must update ur blog ok? Else u also is a no-lifer.

This weekend, is simple, yet i can say is quite depressing. Cos my hse is under renovation. Now i am like living in a war zone. so depressing, no TV, no fridge, no bathroom, no toilet even. only left laptop. If no laptop, i think can end my day early everyday by sleeping very early.. LOL.

But today is quite meaningfully spent. Went gym then meet up with KW ppl for a simple but nice dinner. Enjoying it! Must thank chiewlin for organising =)

Anyway, back to no-lifer me.. really a no lifer now. under-achiever, no-lifer and machiam a clown. That's bad. I am going to revert back to the got some life liyong, at least have some expectation in life, and of cos a joker, but not a clown!

Have a happy weekend, before monday comes, everyone!

Change is the way i feel gd

2009-03-01T00:00:00.003+08:00

Recently been into sweating out. Coz i want to pass my IPPT!!! well, life at work is never easy. made difficult also by the fact that i fell asleep easily after meals.. i think this aspect is due to my increasing wt. that is why, i need to keep fit for my work, for my health, for my image and for my IPPT.

CNY is over le.. nth much to say abt this annual event. just feel that i had lost the liveliness in me .. so much so that i am like a zombie.. hardly smile, hardly interact.. must reassess my direction in life, what i want, and what i need to do.

Birthday

2009-01-16T00:13:00.002+08:00

Ok, birthday is a normal made special by well wishes from everyone: let's know who they r- My family members!, Bball friends: Hang Kwong, Jun Ting, SIC.: Mr Seah, Eugene, Chih Kang, Sharon , Lee Lian, Terrence, Yann, Jali. KW: Weichun, WanWei, Chiew Lin, JianXiang, Brian, Heng Swee, WeiMin, Ken, Tee Seng, Shu Yin. JC friends: Ee Fang, Ting Ting. GV-17 ( Expressivo) friends: Kian Zi, Tabby, Kai Bin, Eugene, Sure-Li. Uni friends: Xiang Yan, Hui Yu, Yang Shan, Yu Jing, Shun Li. Army friend: Yong Ching. Primary school friend: Aloysius. CPG Lab friend: Chris.

2009-01-11T00:02:00.004+08:00

My army fren finally got married! All the best to Mr and Mrs Loh Wai Shin!

She is his woman, and he is her man, from today onwards...

2009-01-06T00:05:00.002+08:00

Yeah, finally managed to enrol into an elementary Korean language class in a CC in Tampines area! The timing is great too! and most imptly, even before discount, it's nt that exp for a 2 mth course. All thks to JiaHui who helped me secure the LAST AND ONLY ONE SLOT left!

In work, whao now with 3 new IA students in our company, felt that the company is full of zhao 1 qi4. LOL. but at the same time, i felt breathless from the hectic schedules.

2009-01-06T00:02:00.001+08:00

汉代风云人物韩信曾说过：一个再强悍的人，只要被激怒，就会失去理智和判断的能力。

2008-12-27T02:17:00.002+08:00

When it comes to the end of year, many of us will experience many meetings with friends. Most are groups which have survived thru many years, be it pri sch playmates, sec sch good pals, JC kakis , army cheong-sua buddies or uni soulmates. but somehow, after i started working, meeting with which group doesnt really matter anymore. To me, all r like wines with the same age. Just like what i stunned aloy today with a ' how u know zhenhong' qns. anyway, most recently, met up with bball gang on wed for lunch at BB at marina sq. anyway, the food there is really deterioriating fast in standard. cant believe i spent 45 bucks there for some v expensive starch and flour. i think the food is sub-standard. i would rather eat at hawker than at BB. but that doenst mean hawker isnt gd. in fact we always underrate our dearest outlets.

and today met with jean who's back from aus with aloy, matkool and lychee. she changed somehow, i sensed. nt in appearance, jean sis, LOL. just in case she tot i was still saying tt she hao chi hao zu there.. anyway, i dunno why, meeting them today, made me feel so heartwarming. anyway, today spent some relaxing time doing up my training slides for my SSs. long time since i had a bit of relaxing time by myself on a weekday.

recently got to know this sweet voiced singer from Sg, Olivia Ong. Was quite proud to know that, HEY! We have got some talents out there who can make ppl turn their heads! I am not a siao-on-patriot btw, just proud by what a 'dark horse' like us can achieve.

listened to her version of 'sometimes when we touch' , there's this phrase that sets me thinking... '... and sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much, and i have to close my eyes and hide...'

Stress from work isnt too much from the work load. most of it is from the people and people r/s that we have to handle everyday...

2008-11-06T00:35:00.002+08:00

Recently had been pinned down by new work schedule, new job scope and new boss. and i am still sticking to the old task for this mth. so i doing new job in day, and old work at night. and to make things worse.. the new work schedule due to some complaints, requires me to work from 830am to 830pm on days without night shift in this mth. and i am still handling night shifts... really got so tiring.. and non-sensical.. that i offended my big boss, in such a way tt i criticise him in front of colleagues.. and tt is it. now i felt i am being aimed. targeted. Lol.

It's serious. i might get sacked anytime. i might be pushed to do all the stuffs.

and i admit tt it was nt the best way to handle things by being so frank.. and.. insensitive. but from the way i see stuffs.. my big boss is trying to tolerate me. BUT i think one more spark.. and i will be suffering.. before i leave the company.

So.. lesson to be learnt. Never friend your boss.. he is still ur boss afterall.

Nth can be reversed. Luckily i have a nice boss in the new job. he wanted me to improve and learn my ropes.. and focus on the job... and not on the office politics, which is happening in the old work. Now.. maybe it's a last chance to redeem. but it's the best chance since i started work till now. i felt a passion for the new work at least.

we shall see how.. if really i am sacked..i can only blame myself and admit this.

2008-10-30T22:23:00.002+08:00

today is the worst day. Damn leg got rashes due to medical bandage from the injury.. and have to salvage a drifting friendship...and come in first thing, kanna blamed by colleagues for sth which i didnt do at all. and.. when i try to find out who accused me.. realised tt different parties said different stories.. that means one side is cheating me. and i hate this..lying, betrayal.
when i tried to save myself.. no one supports me. and they said even if i didnt do.. i am to be blamed cos usual days i SEEMED like one whom would do it. well.. i am damn pissed and helpless. and.. when i try to sound out a work related problem to my boss.. and i had no choice but to say out who's the culprits, i RISKED a conflict in working r/s in further.. and there turns out to be a few ppl whom i am talking of, who happened to be in the office then. think they didnt hear me. and last but nt least.. my 2 bosses, 1 claimed i have nth to do.. and compared me to another.. WHEN i am sounding out problems at work to my sup. and my sup also hinted that i didnt lead by example.. which.. i think doesnt lies with if i led by example or nt.. there isnt basic trust between the engineers and the subordinates.. haiz.. nt as if i can do anything to change the situation.

TODAY IS DAMN SHITTY. I REALLY THINK SCHOOLING IS COOL.. WITHOUT EXAMS OF COZ....................

2008-10-28T03:27:00.002+08:00

Didn't know the night can feel so cold. Cold and empty. and i am enjoying the numbness from the wind-blowing.

人生犹如一盘围棋，实实虚虚，不到结尾，不知结局。
情感是人生的一部分，实虚难测。没受过伤的人并没爱过。
人不会因为一点儿的伤而活不成，却会因此伤而感受痛楚，感到失落与无奈。
但我发现到这世界是无情的，不会因为你的苦楚而停止旋转。
所以一定要振作，希望明天的太阳能带给你你所渴望的温暖。

updates

2008-10-10T08:54:00.002+08:00

shh... this is done under restrictions.. lol. i dun need to name out what the restrictions r.

anyway these days in office r all abt one thing: RESIGNATION.

one left last mth, one leaving today, one resigned this week, and i also sounded to my boss if i cant do non-shift work , i will be resigning too. well, this is the hottest trend in my office. but nt encouraging. at least nt before u get ur bonus(irregardless of 13th mth or performance bonus--still some extra cash!)

actually why is there a 13th mth bonus ? anybody tot before this? if nt why nt give 14th mth 15th mth and 16th bonus too? i think the lastest trend will fade off if that is implemented in my company..

Anyway...went for IPT this mth.. siong la.. but gd la, cos now my biceps r getting a bit tougher. Yeah!

2008-09-06T02:55:00.004+08:00

Ok, intend to blog thru from last sunday till today.

Sunday (31st of Aug): Chiew and Muffin co-organised a outdoor activities day, which i think is kinda of like SDU outing LOL. why? cos Chiew introed her girlfriends(Muffin, weimin,and forget the other sailor moon's name) to the other 8 guys+1 weichun present. And here i wan to leak some secret lol. FRESH from oven. SQ got gf liao. then i was one of the latest to know sia! Anyway, we all hit off quite well with the new friends thru crazy games like dodge-ball, captain ball, basketball, soccernet, badmintons etc.. after which i'd got big bubbles on my soles. And after lunch, went for the forest treetop walk at southern ridge, where we climbed steep terrains and bashed thru thick forests(as if..) anyway, the walk really amazed me.. cos i didnt know sg had got some cool places like hort park etc. after the long trekkings we all headed to vivocity and sat down for chit chats till ard 8 plus! we really she bu de each other meh...(or is it the new frens? =_=) but i must say..chiew thks ah.. next time rem to bring more..LOL!

Thurs(4th Sept): Today's a much awaited day for the whole PPT team! cos chih kang and chiou phing r treating us to dinner at StraitsKitchen at Hayatt Hotel! Each head costs ard 50 bucks for this local cruisine buffet! Well, i must say that i really enjoy the food a lot! Nice food.. and also had a relaxing time with my colleagues and bosses thru chit chats.

Fri(5th Sept): what had happened in the day, i had not much impression now. But this evening marked the first outing for PPT team's engineers(junior lvl)! And i am the organiser lol. Out of 7 possible ppl, 5 turned up. So was rather successful. Had a dine-and-whine session at Shokudo. Food to me was ok, and the burger is damn huge! But it's the bonding session that is valuable.

Sat(6th Sept): KTV session with shunli, Liqing, linda,shufang,huimin,jesslyn and anshu. at first was late, so had to wait for the mic. After which, i just interrupted the sequence and tried to hog mic lOl. surprised to hear linda sing.. knew her since Yr 1, but nv heard her sing.. really sweet and soothing voice. All get v high at a pt of time... lol, was pleasantly surprised by the enthusiasm. anyway celeb anshu's and jesslyn's bdae together too... and had cake again.. dunno how many times within a span of a mth le.. After that went to nearby hawker stalls to have zi char. Ordered some lousy drinks and got scolded by the rest.. !@#$ ! drink stall uncle trying to kan cai tou! Headed for a cafe nearby which SL recommended.. and stayed there to play card game.. where linda stoned for the whole duration after using up all her energy in the afternoon.

Mon(8th Sept): Bought a new wallet! and realised the 10% discount is a bit illogical(to the shop la..).. explained to my sis and wc abt tat.. in the end bought the Picard wallet and a name card holder for 100 bucks.

Tues(9th Sept): Wasnt expecting any interesting thing to happen.. since leelian and sharon r gg on board of TSHD. However, last min.. got the chance to experience wat had learnt in lectures in NTU! boarded the GM TSHD and had a 4 course lunch for free on board! unlimited drinks and food thruout within the vessel. Was an eye opener! And .. got some jokes which r nt supposed to be told(confidential), and came back unexpectedly late (plan to reach shore at 6pm, instead reached at 9pm). Anyway, was really fun to be on board and spent time chit chatting LOL! We like to chit chat abt office warfare lol. well, leelian declared war with me before we leave the vessel.. and i launched my first attack back in office at the pantry LOL. now she is on standby to guard against any of my further invasion. But.. i had to buy and stock ammunitions of hard candies to appease her soon.. cos took too much of her candies from the tray. and chih kang almost wanted to charge me of 'molesting' him LOL. i guess being too friendly isnt gd in site.. esp PPT site lol.

Wed(today): went for dinner with chun at taka. i guess if i ever wanted to set up any biz.. it would be in FnB sector.. cos realised tt singaporeans really can eat! or can sacrifice for the sake of eating! lucrative for sure! and had a super nice ice cream(in my view) which is weirdly dressed with peanut butter. will wan to try it again! and again! and again! and was so tired on the way back tt i wan to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and nt get down the train. anyway, i guess i shld zzz le.. tml's another battle day with leelian again lol.

2008-08-27T23:39:00.003+08:00

Work is fine till now. Shift work starting soon. anyway once shift starts.. the whole office will be v quiet le.. cos desmond is soon leaving the company, ayub too.. and so i can imagine my nanny and my ah ma tog with grace will be the only junior engineers left. wah.. girls r so lucky.. dun need to work shift.

and yeah.. my shift is entitled to allowance! my pay increased!

realised tt some ppl r always after ppl.. while others r those who r being after.. i belong to the first type. slogging. in work and in life.

2008-08-09T03:26:00.002+08:00

Worked for a week since my first day already. Felt stressed even when i am only a first week old worker.. cos i realised the heavy responsibilities that i had to carry in the coming weeks.. and will go on for 2 yrs.. and in future, i will be on shift... till... 2 plus yrs later.. quite bad hor.. but think abt it.. it is a new challenge too..

Anyway, a bit on my job and the ppl i met.

Today finally applied for RE cert at BCA, this RE quite lugi one.. increased responsibility with no increase in pay. lol.

Anyway, my colleagues r quite nice.. and my dept at the site got 3 new comers incl me. One is terrence from cee whom i didnt talk to in my uni yrs..another one is a burmese dude called nay zaw. good buddies now.. we 3 r. lol.

and they like to tease me and my buddy leelian over at the site office. she is also from ntu's ENE.. but grad 1 yr earlier, but younger by a yr.. and she is my appointed buddy in the company.. but kind of got some funny incidents.. which made me felt that she is fierce. luckily all the jokes that we played didnt get me into her bad books.. yeah.. hopefully she can accept me more in future.

and there r another 2 more girls' engr .. grace and sharon. grace will be in the shift team tog with us 3 guys.. lol.. and she's also an ntu grad 2 yrs my senior in term of grad date.

and i personally like to chat with sharon, cos she is like a da jie to me.. willing to teach and share.

also, got ayud who is a senior RE. he is a v quiet guy.. but when we all hit off.. he will have his funny side too.

And also our immediate lao ban Mr Ng.. patient family man. v good guiding mentor in the company for 3 of us.

Also.. a lot more sups like Eugene, Mr Low, Mr Seah, and SSs and Mr Sing.. think they all r v nice ppl.. though we contacted not as much in daily tasks. Also got ever helpful Ali , Jali and also a just departed IA student Husseina. well.. if things remain status quo in term of HR for 2 yrs.. think will be quite a wonderful stay.

Just had drinks with YS and co.. wah .. now suffering from gastric pain.. dunno if tml can i make it to Sentosa.....

2008-08-01T04:27:00.003+08:00

Been reading thru what i wrote back in the past.. realised that i cant tahan the way of how i pen down my tots.. a bit too mushy Lol. also.. v long winded.. PLUS... sounded too like a girl's blog. Yucks.

Anyway..dota-ing is fun.. esp games ard 2-3am. cos it's really v fun to win the game with a team of unknown players.. and win them after being beaten in mid game. Lol. Ok.. getting scared of commencement of work le.. Arghh........I DUN FEEL LIKE WORKING.. But also dun feel like slacking. WTH do i want? Lol.. dunno.. maybe being left with no choice is still the best choice.at least dun need to think and decide. 4.32am.. ok gonna sleep..

2008-07-30T17:55:00.001+08:00

All the while realised i have a lot of bad habits to kick.. just cant be bothered/cant help it. It's time to face it like man lol.. and try to get them out of the way.

2008-07-29T03:59:00.002+08:00

Hi all.. long awaited right? I guess i had nt been maintaining this blog. and had an intention to close it down.. but kinda she bu de.

Anyway, will nt be updating abt my korea trip anymore.

And updates. Finally graduated! Convo night is really v joyful. and glad tat everything r past tense now.

And after a slacking 2 months since reservist.. and after many job applications and interviews, finally i am employed. Really thks Jianzhong for recommending the job to me. will be starting work on 4th Aug soon. The decision to choose b/w 2 offers came after numerous ponderings and discussions with frens. Glad that Misty had sounded out to me the right attitude that i shld hold in future along my career path. A bit scared of the change.. student to working professional. The pressure will be immense.. but the satisfaction will be greater than ever experienced before. I am sure of this.

And.. these days slacking really makes me feel damn sian. I couldnt get myself to rest any longer from this moment le..everyday to me is like a torture.. i wish i could start work asap. wellz.. someone will be laughing again when reading this.. i know.. I will only know the pain when i started working..

and.... now what's next? nth in life tt is much anticipated le.. except the 1st pay day.. i wan to get a watch for myself.. but..i could afford to spend till i had repay my loans to my parents.. and that will mean another 2 yrs wait? i dunno.. maybe can spend a bit.. but.. i certainly will repay what i owned my parents asap.

and bought some new office wears for my upcoming job already. quite satisfied with the choice.. and.. will be buying more casual office wear.. cos i dun need to wear till so formal everyday.

ok.. sleeping time..ZZZ

Settled down, and face the reality.

2008-07-03T22:27:00.002+08:00

Ok.. finally all r settled..and all r well over.. no more hope of getting a 2nd look thru of it. Well, i am ok with it though. But of cos.. being perfectionistic in some ways.. i wished for a better outcome. But ok.. since nth can be remedied at this late stage. Though i am late in trying to remedy it.. at least i tried.. and now i had no other choice but to move forward in life.. and to accept the fact.

Today completed the part time job of flyer distri. lol, and went out with the 4 da mei nu, as anshu said, after work to sing. the job really isnt easy. to stand and to turn ard to face ppl.. today felt dizzy half way thru the job.

Next week. One interview. Heard is a panel interview by the DIRECTOR. hmm.. director of the branch of the company? or the regional company? or what? i arnt sure. but i know it will be nerve-wrecking. cos the company is JTC. wish me luck! i dunno whether i wan to work in the govt sector even till now.. but i hope that at least i will be considered to be employed after the interview.

2008-06-29T03:31:00.002+08:00

I dun know is it becos i can endure certain things, but not others.. anyway, i felt that i cant take it anymore. although the feeling from all these is subtle, but it eventually affected my mood. And as i told Wanwei abt it, i just wanna grumble out. Not only becos of 1 incident, 1 grp of fren. But many many. But again, just grumble out la.

Anyway, these days r hectic! And that is good. Just came back from Weichun's place after a day of MJ. Splitting headache. But i must admit, i enjoyed myself today in overall =) And for some ppl to notice, i am not a seasoned MJ player. Only played like 4-5 times in 2008 so far. Last yr almost less than 5 sessions. How can I be fast in this game when i dun even play virtual MJ online too!?But i need to confess, i am smart in thinking, tt is why i learn fast, and thus i won like i knew a lot. But that is becos I observe and learn from each session. Speed is possessed thru practices. And that cant be rushed in MJ. I dun like to be rushed, becos we play it for leisure. and we play to interact. Not to meet certain quota of rounds, or to play for the money primarily. So.. got what i mean? Pls take note =P

A new start! A fresh start!

2008-06-24T13:45:00.002+08:00

Yeah! recovered from the flu! Happy to be healthy again. It's nice to be well and kicking alive.

Job hunting as usual. After studying for 25 plus yrs (incl NS), i am at the crossroad of making a new start/chapter in my life. So, when i am employed, it will mean a new and fresh start for me in my life! The past doesnt really matter anymore when working life starts. It is level zero in my opinion... learning and credits start to accumulate again. No matter hw gd or bad past results/ exp can be.. this is a brand new start on how ppl will judge u, how i will perceive myself. So, to make it a good start,i also need to motivate myself to excel in my workplace!

Sick...

2008-06-22T11:28:00.002+08:00

These few days have been tiring days for me. Esp friday to sat. On fri,i actually ran from tampines to bedok as training to meet Weichun and Brian. Then at the stadium i ran another nearly 4km. After dinner, i realised i had forgotten abt my EZlink card.. so had not much choice but to walk from bedok back home. And the bad thing is.. i choosen the longer route via the florist to get home! And on sat even went for bball before dragging the dying feet to bugis to WALK ard. now the thighs r aching.. and got a bit sick these days. Got flu that nv went off... sian la!

Sparkling Korea

2008-06-09T22:11:00.016+08:00

Hi! updates again!! anyway shall talk abt what i am doing these days.. now unemployed , stayed at home to play games everyday.. but borrowed some books on softwares to read up meanwhile.. need to brush up usage of applications for future jobs! And today is meaningfully spent. First, i went to the tamp stadium and worked out there for ard 2 hrs (jogging, arm trainings, situps, leg trainings, endurance walking etc.) After which, evening went to a pub called Timbre with Brian and Weichun. The food there isnt bad! Will recommend this place at armenian street. After which, settled at starbucks to chill out.. felt that the drink tt i ordered was too sweet. cannot take it lol. Yeah, overnight mj session at weichun's place if nth goes wrong! Brian, pls settle the ppl gg ok?

Anyway, will cont abt the 8 days trip recount. Since Weichun said that the prev entry is too wordy.. and she just wanted pics.. i guess many of the rest might felt the same too.. so.. less words.. but definitely not more pictures! becos.. it takes ages to upload pics to blogger.. too slow! haha!

Anyway, with reference to the last photo in the last entry, the mountain in picture in reality isnt quite a big mountain. but it is unique becos it is beautiful.. as in there is yi4 jing4. Up at the waist of the huge rock is a temple called the Da Xiong Bao Dian.. yes.. da xiong is the doraemon's main character.. dunno why the temple is related to Da xiong.. maybe is another guy ba.. dunno..ANyway, the temple is mainly found at the waist of the mountain. there is a series of staircases leading to a cave in the mountain, where it houses a big buddha statue. And it is mythed that holy water can be obtained at the cave.

The pic below is taken at the foot of the mountain(at the place where the last pic in last entry is taken, which is very near to the seashore). It showed a fake ship which is supposed to be a testimonial of the very 1st foreign ship from France(i arent too sure abt the country though) that arrived at the shore off Korea.

The next pic shows that this area used to be submerged in the sea million yrs ago. can be proved by the sedimentary cliffs.

Next is a random pic of a cute pony.

Oh ya, weichun also said that the pics r too small.. sorry arh. pls use a magnifying glass to enlarge the pics if u wan to see the map. i take this for fun one.. not to have a copy of the map.

The start of the series of staircase at Da Xiong Bao Dian.

I dunno why i posed like this. looks so damn weird. just to show that nearby the mountain , is the sea. Note: i was at the waist of the mountain then.

Bird's eye view of the ground lvl.

Next, after the visit to the Bao Dian, we took a short bus trip within Jeju to this beautiful place. Heard from David that this place is the first location in Jeju to be urbanised by the Korean govt.

Find the windmill familiar? lol, it's weird to have one in Korea right? It's the place where one of the scene of the serial 'All In' is taken at. The windmill doesnt function as it appears. lol, it's just for decorative purpose/ built for the serial (i'd forgotten) and the windmills(got more than 1 there) housed souvenir shops.

Ok, i admit, i spoilt the nice scenery. Haha.

This is a pic of a hotel built on a piece of higher land, which is behind the windmills' locations. Really nice scenery.

After which, we went to visit another temple. And off cos.. need to take bus there lah.

The pic below shows a bell made of basalt rocks for safety/ fertility purposes (forgotten again). I only remembered that the higher it is, the better it served of its purpose. This one is definitely of ard 3-5 men's stacked-up ht.

The path to the temple. In pic is the couple without their children present in the tour grp. They simply loved to take pics.. anytime, anywhere!

Ok.. second day nt yet finished.. but my energy for today is used up.. gotta sleep.. I'll update again when u least expect me to. =P

I'm a Graduate

2008-06-05T22:18:00.002+08:00

I am officially a graduate now! =) got back results yest night.. but the hons till this morning in camp then got to know it from mansze.. a bit disappointed i must be frank. not that i am a fantastic student with brilliant results.. but the result fall short of my aim.. and all i can blame is partially due to luck and also due to my incompetency.I had wrote in to my fyp prof to enquire abt sth abt my project. i just wan to get an assurance. hope that this last thing can be fulfilled. anyway, i am glad that i am out of schooling life.. 25 yrs.. not short.. and i am ready to embrace a different lifestyle.. which is living with unemployment, for now =)

Sparkling Korea

2008-06-04T20:20:00.009+08:00

Been in camp these days.. and chatted with Soon Eng abt the Korea trips that we had individually went. And both of us agred that we missed Korea even till now. LOL, he missed the weather, sceneries and the culture. I missed the weather, sceneries and the girls. =P

18th May 2008 (Sun)

Upon touching down at the airport in Jeju, I realised that the airport here isnt as grand as the Incheon airport. But it is logical that an international airport should be better looking in aesthetic sense. And we r going to spend our next 2 days on Jeju island which is 3 times the size of Singapore, but houses ard 8 hundred thousand ppl as compared to Sg's 4 million.

Some interesting facts abt Jeju island. Jeju island in Chinese is called 濟州島. As extracted from Wikipedia: Jeju-do is the only special self-governing province of South Korea, situated on and coterminous with the country's largest island. Jeju-do lies in the Korea Strait, southwest of Jeollanam-do Province, of which it was a part before it became a separate province in 1946. Its capital is the city of Jeju.

Nomenclature
In Korean, do is the phonetic trancription of two distinct hanja (Chinese characters) meaning "island" (島) and "province" (道). However, Jejudo can refer to the island. Jeju-do can refer to the government administrative unit. Below also includes the name of Jeju City, the provincial capital.

English Name-Korean Name-Hangul-Hanja
Jeju Island-Jejudo-제주도-濟州島
Jeju Province-Jeju-do-제주도-濟州道
Jeju City-Jeju-si-제주시-濟州市

adapted from : http://www.stsite.com/jeju/index.php

Jeju Island a land mass that rose from the seabed about 1~2 million years ago after an undersea volcanic eruption. The whole Jeju Island consists of basalt, dark-brown volcanic rock, lava rock and volcanic soil. Jeju island is a living folk village, a paradise island of South Korea, and a popular destination for honeymoon couples and tourists.

It is really a popular place for couples. Could see a lot of young couples taking pictures at the seasides, also, even saw old couples in their 70/80s having their honeymoon trip on jeju and taking bridal pictures! Heard from the tour guide that it is a popular place for honeymoon trip esp for the older couples,cos in the past many of them couldnt afford to travel, even within SK to places like Jeju. And they had their honeymoon within the Korean peninsula. But now, they had the financial ability, and to fulfill the unfulfilled wish to have a trip to jeju, many of these old couples would specially go to jeju to have a brief stayover or taking photos there. It is a really lovely place.

Jeju Island is culturally distinct from Korea due to its isolation from mainland Korea. Jeju Island otherwise known as Chejudo is never short of local legends; the most famous legend is the Tol Harubang sometimes spelled as Dolharubang. Tol Harubang is often regarded by Jeju folks as the god of protection and fertility, also believed as the guardian deities of Chejudo. Tolharubang is easily seen everywhere in Jeju Island as the statue of an old man sculptured from block of dark lava rock. Dol Harubang together with the Haenyo(海女） or Jeju women divers, are Jeju Island's most unique symbols. Traditionally Jeju women were often the head of the families. In olden days the Haenyo or women divers were usually the main income earners of the families but the Haenyeo is now becoming a dying trade.

A picture of how Dol Harubang looks like:

And below is a photo taken along the Jeju street.

Notice the top left hand corner of this pic: the cute cartoon resembles Dol Harubang.

Also note that the stripes on the road arent zebra crossings as seen in Sg. These r the pedestrian crossings with red man/green man! And Koreans when buying cars, favoured buying white cars as i had observed during my stay there, as seen in this picture too!

After touching down, we took a coach to our next destination, which is a seaside where the dragon head formation could be seen there. Notice that jeju's seaside arent like those sandy beaches that we see in Sg or in Malaysia. Theirs are mostly with large basalt rocks which r porous. And of cos, the dragon head formation is also made of basalt.

Below is more info abt the basalt formation in Chinese:

The scenery there is great! Wonderful! It is a perfect place for sea viewing as the weather is cool yet dry. And the sea stretches till where the eyes can see..sea and sky seem to merge at a faraway place.. where the horizon is blurred by the sea mists. Not forgetting the light sea breeze and the accompanying faint scent from the famous jeju oranges! Note that some shops on the island solely sell jeju oranges only, and that shows how much pride jeju residents have in their product and how famous is it there!

A few shots taken there:

Note the rock formation at the backgrd: it is the dragonhead formation which resembles as what the name suggests-a dragon head. The resemblence isnt as strong now, cos of erosion and part of the formation actually collapsed once, and is quickly patched back.. but it is never the same as it used to be.

These r the Haenyo(海女） or Jeju women divers. Here, they sell their catches to tourists to eat! Eaten raw with beer!

Small carts/vans selling the big and yummy Jeju oranges!

Next, we had our lunch at a near by eatery, which is our very first Korean meal there!

Typical Korean meals tt we had there r characterized by steamboats/hot pots, kimchi, long bean sprouts, ikan bilis, seaweeds and rice.

Note: there were lotsa beefs and porks in the meals! So i actually slimmed a bit in the land of Kimchi... T_T ( I dun eat red meat!)

Ok, till now, we had only travelled for half a day.. up in next entry, I will be visiting this beautiful place as shown:

So, anticipate my next entry! ok!

Korea Trip

2008-05-30T21:59:00.005+08:00

Hi All,

Decided to have a day-to-day recount of my entire 7 days 6 nights affair with South Korea. Inspired this idea while i was slacking. But only after Wanwei sounded out that she would like to read the blog entry of hw i spend the week in Korea, then i decided to put it into action. For now, the pictures are all supplied by Yangshan, cos mine are not yet uploaded, as i couldnt find the disc to install the camera softeware in my comp. But soon... i will get it done.

17th May 2008 (Sat)

Our flight is a night time flight at ard 1045pm. So after having dinner at home, we all set to meet at 8pm at Changi Airport T1. Our tour grp consisted of 19 ppl--6 from my grp( Alan, YJ, YS, me, Wilsie and Val), 1 married coupled, 1 married couple with 2 very cute little things, 1 family of 5 and a pair of sisters.

Above: Before boarding, after checked in. Felt super tired even before the flight Lol.. must be played too much game in the day.. and that wilson is busy checking his stuffs repeatedly sia. He'd got something to smuggle LOL(some letters to the tour guide over at Korea).

The flight is with Korean Air, which i think the air stewardesses are all very fair, beautiful and gentle. Really my cup of tea! Enjoyed the trip and couldnt sleep thru out the flight(YOU MUST BE THINKING like this.. but not cos of looking at the pretty stewardesses la.. but becos of the in-flight meal and snacks) anyway, the girls keep taking pictures even on plane la.. below is one evidence.

dots right?! Sleeping time also taking. actually i also want to take too, but dun have the chance lol.

From the plane, we can see the sunrise ^^ (no pic)

And after like 6 plus hrs of flight,we reach Seoul International Airport where the tour guide David and our photographer Shawn welcomed us..(tot Shawn is our guide at first, cos he kept waving the tour grp name board--which is what the tour guide is supposed to be right?)

And we immediately take a 1 hr bus trip to Incheon International Airport where we will take a domestic flight (Korean Air again!^^) to Jeju Island.

I must comment abt something. Korea's 5am is as bright as our 8am's! and cos it is nearing the end of Summer, we could feel the heat from the sun, but the ambience temperature there is ard 18 C(Just like stepping into a super big room with air con!) not only this, the heat only tans the skin, but wont make one feel sweaty cos the air humidity over there is quite low (except during noontime, when humidity increases a bit, and i sweated like mad on the 4th day , i think!).

Ok, the lazy me decided to push Jeju Island's thing into the 2nd day's entry^^. Rem to stay tune!! Back to gaming now =p

Korea, a beautiful place.

2008-05-26T01:07:00.002+08:00

Back from Korea. Wonderful experience. Nice country. Good weather.
In short, i would certainly miss this place.

Anyway, some random tots. Some things which i used not to take it seriously, is suddenly vanishing. I had the chance to cherish it, but i took it for granted. Now, not that i had lost it totally, but, i am quite uncertain if i can get it back. But for sure, i wont be with it as freq as last time, cos of the situation. cos life is an ever moving escalator. need to move on in search of other goals in life. achieving dreams. to face reality.. is to earn a living. but really appreciate the time when it was by my side. Never knew it is so interesting till the last days, before i realised i am slowly losing grip of it. now starting to regret.. is it too late? AGRHHH....HATE MYSELF for being too stubborn in the past. a rough stone may not be comparable to a polished gem, but it is in its purest form. and i like the way it knocks its way ard, not scared to be scarred.. and i am starting to like this piece of stone, simply becos it is always being itself. what a stone to lose. sigh.

Take care of yourselves!

2008-05-06T18:04:00.002+08:00

FYP presentation finally ended. It marks the end of my student life. Though my Q n A isnt good.. but overall my prof said that my presentation is ok, which is alright to me.. i wanna grad!

And today went to send Chiew Lin and Linda off to USA. Also saw Qing Xiang and Hanson there to send their respective sister and fren off for their work and travel. And Chiew Lin and Linda got such a big convoy to send them off! LOL. I bought 2 small hp decoratives for each of this 2 girls. 2 identical ones, so that they could have something to remind of us when they feel lonely over at USA or feel homesick lol. And also, we celebrated these 2 girls' bdae at the airport before they depart for USA. So cool right, 2 good frens, same month of bdae..

anyway, must mention something. I realised among all my frens, Chiew Lin , Hang Kwong and Chye Guan r perhaps the most considerate type of ppl that we could wish for that are in my social circle. LOL, not that others r not.. but they r just too good sometimes.. LOL...

ok, play dota time. dun nudge me.

2008-04-29T22:11:00.002+08:00

Today, exam is finally over. But.. i dun feel happy. cos i dun feel secure. after finishing the paper, i had an uneasy feeling that i might not be able to grad on time due to this paper. But, after doing some analysis with the worst scenario situations, i still managed to get a total score of around 53%. This is quite comforting, but this does not confirm a pass, as results are not absolutely taken. However, since i could do nth more other than feeling troubled to improve the current situation, i decided to adopt a happier mood to live everyday till judgement day arrives. Hope that all my friends and I will grad on time! I wanna throw the hat tog with them and .. i dun want to be left behind in school =(

Anyway, today went out with Jing and Shan. Was quite moody for half of the day.. luckily they r quite tolerant towards me.. thanks.. and slowly i begin to get back to a bit of my normal self.. slowly..

and was really happy to sing bei pan and xu yao ni de ai with shan.. cos..can feel we r both venting out LOL.

Time to prepare for FYP and also to meet up with frens.. good.

Battle just began

2008-04-27T23:01:00.002+08:00

Finally, i had decided to open up to the fears of years, and challenge it. I will prevail! For i believe in the unmeasurable strength of Mankind's determination and perserverence.

Today is a jittery day.. it's a bad sunday. I hope i will nv feel as lonely and as helpless anymore. Things were made difficult for myself, by myself.

Shld sleep now.. today's unproductive. But tml will wrap up everything.

Exams

2008-04-24T21:14:00.002+08:00

2 down, 2 more to go. Yesterday's paper was quite alright, but really scared to nt pass that paper.. cos it is ENV paper. But then today suddenly realised sth wrong when walking back home from studying. V sheng qi feeling.. but it spelt trouble.. cos when i got home, i straight redo the part where i had a bad feeling abt it on the way back.. and realised i had keyed wrongly into the calculator(my steps were right, just that the final answer is wrong) Damn sian sia.. that Qns is 12 marks one, and following got a few marks qns which depended on the ans obtained earlier for calculations. i am really hoping that i could pass this paper and grad in time. Really got v scared after failing last yr's ENV paper le.. a bit phobic now, but really hope this mistake wont affect my graduation date. I wanna get out into the working society with my peers! hmm, actually thinking back, for this paper, i have the 'can pass' feeling. so, shld be ok, I hope...

Tml's con tech!! I really wanna pass it! Cos.. a lot of ppl keep saying tt it is tough.. esp YS.. i get v phobic too... argh.. And next tues's Coastal, i heard it is killer paper.. but i dun wish to regret taking it.. must pass it!! No matter what, to graduate on time is my only wish for the time being!!

Friends and well-wishers, please pray hard for me and my peers, and wish us the best of lucks in our final papers!!

It's good to be healthy.

2008-04-18T23:06:00.002+08:00

It's good to be hearing once more. My ears r now alright! Thanks for the care and concern from some of the frens! Really v hearing-warm to know someone cares. Today's studying is the happiest session of this week. Cos.... It's good to be able to hear what u frens r saying.. able to listen to music the way it is played.. able to taste food the way it is cooked(hearing loss=taste loss too.. cos of earache) And yippy! i can listen to my MP3's again!! Lost interest in music in the past 4 days.. lol, now i had re ignited the love for it! Well, from this loss of hearing incident, i realised sth.. I didnt gain anything as compared to 4 days ago. Yet i am a happier man now.. because i had lost and found back something which is so precious to me.

2008-04-18T01:15:00.002+08:00

Hi all,

Very unmotivated to study these days. And these days suffered from partial hearing loss =(
Hope this temp handicap will go off soon. I cant tahan all these anymore..

Well, exams r coming, hope that i can pass all and graduate as scheduled. And these days had been studying with Tabby, YongLing and YangShan and occasionally YuJing and KianZhi. So.. studying isnt as boring as i tot will be la.. lol..

OK, hope tml my ear will recover!! CHEERS!

All ends well.

2008-04-12T02:18:00.002+08:00

Yesterday marks the end of my schooling stage of life. Wonderful 25 years. Also painfully long. Humans are contradictary, while we r in it, we yearn to get out of it. But now when i can finally free myself from the shackles, i yearn to stay a bit longer, to feel part of NTU, to feel the peaceful feeling in school in late afternoon on a friday.. and the good feelings of being with friends. No more of that in future. Even if i were to continue studying, things will be the same as in the past.

My last day in school was simple. Ate breakfast with air pollution guys. Then met up with Tabby and Kz for lunch. After which, went for the last class in my whole schooling life. And after the class went to find Tabby adn Kz in tut rm and while i force them to study, i took a day break. Completed my MVP Valentines. V nice ending.. cos that is what we as audiences wanted. And after which went with Tabby to shop in Nanyang Mart and had a biscuit session with the 2 Yr Ones LOL. They r so noob still LOL. And then these 2 siblings-lookalike-ppl started dancing. And i started learning a bit.. cos i tot might be useful to know a bit in future. haha, and dinner in the new canteen before heading home. Now.. can start to feel a bit lost. Like YS felt in the last 2 weeks, i only started to feel on the last day. Ok, this is the escalator of life. It nv stops at a single spot.

=)

Finished but not yet ended

2008-04-03T16:33:00.003+08:00

Yest was the last lesson of GV17. Presentation was quite bad and rushy. Hope i dont pull down the grp's grade with my ill prepared presentation. And after the class was a lot of pics taking outside Ms Leona's room at the scenic open air area. Was sad that the class is ending... and the whole class even presented Ms Leona with a big card with all our words of gratitude inside. And the my close cliques in this class decided to go out for dinner after the lesson lol. Good idea, so i decided to forgo the time to do my FYP, cos i wanted to be with the rest since many of them are present. Sureli got v sad and had a dramatic half an hr at ADM LOL. only the ppl in this grp knew abt what happened. But hope she learnt that saying bye is part and parcel of life. Meeting up with new frens is always coupled with departure eventually. Inevitable truth.

Anyway, we all headed to Swensens which is one of the restaurants that i dun fancy, cos Tabby cant have food at non-halal restaurants. But nevertheless the company with whom i had dinner with is good, so makes the exp there better. We gave Sureli her bday present since a few days later will be the happy occasion. She liked what Eugene and his gf picked for her. Phew, good good. And, we also managed to come out with a little surprise for this little sis of ours, by ordering an ice cream cake for her to celeb in advance her 17-yr-old birthday. Then followed by a lot of pic taking by the youngsters.. i didnt think i am one of them though.. just sat there and looking at them having fun. LOL. And i had captured one pic of the grp tog, thus, i am not inside the pic.

And so, things ended in a happy fashion, which is what i wanted.

IL DIVO--ISABEL

2008-03-30T23:53:00.004+08:00

Ok the Eeyer Divo with our pianist who spent a lot of time helping us. And so, Winston gave her a rose on stage LOL.. that is why she helped him pick up petals after the song, and not anyone of us!

Ok this is the album cover. I cant help myself from laughing.. so that is how i spoil the cover. All the wordings r done by our pianist, sureli.

GV17 RoX!

2008-03-27T00:47:00.002+08:00

This is what tabby exclaimed. I think to some extent, i also feel the same way. Because i made new frens there, get to know a wonderful vocalist like Ms Leona and her cousin Sure-li who is ever so helpful in helping us to rehearse. And also, i got to rediscover some confidence in front of crowd.. once more. I think the on-stage experience must be on-going so that we will not have cold feet in front of audience, regardless of being in a presentation or concert.

Today is such a wonderful day, i guess this is one of the few days that i feel truely free of worries, and indulge in something that i like , with ppl whom also share the same passion with me.
Isabel is a success. Really, at least it is, to me. I can feel the classmates r hyped up over our well prepared presentation. Their enthusiasm and encouragement + keen 'whaos!' from the girls and free flow of 'wah zai' from the dudes really really made our day and all the practices worthwhile!
And the frenship forged with Tianzhi ,winston and the cute cliburn during rehearsals is a v heartwarming experience. of cos not forgetting the super duper blur but sweet and cute daphne and the savvy eugene. also the supporters who always came to support us on practices like kaibin, tabby and 'tang tang' candy. Sure-li is the must thank person too.. all the way to NTU from serangoon every practice! Thanks!

Last but not least thank you Teacher Leona! Her enthusiasm and dedicated teachings made us fall in love with music. Really a nice and v v attractive teacher! And her really positive comments for me today made my day! Cos i had gotten assurance for my performance today from a professional musician! LOL, not really for my vocal ability, but for my stage presence and showmanship.

Well,this course is coming to an end, i guess nth in this world continues forever =) sad and she bu de but i think the wonderful experience and memories r what made us miss this course. indeed, last sem in ntu, but still able to enjoy this.. really v fortunate =) next week will see crying faces.. for sure.. (daphne surely will cry =P) becos that is the last lesson.

=')

Thanks so much for the belated bday gift, KB

2008-03-05T21:36:00.002+08:00

Just went for interview at a consultancy firm. One of the director interviewed me. Well, what he told me was of great value, though eventually i may not be working there. i think his words can guide us, freshies, when we r in seek of jobs. He questioned what will be my long term plan and short term ambition. This stumbled me. I always tot i wanted to try a few yrs in engrg field. Soon i predict i will get sick of engrg, and will switch to other industry like.. teaching or being an entrepreneur. I think that is my plan. Now, to me, the plan is still viable, but a bit too idealistic and raw. Why? Becos, i intended to work a few yrs in engrg field, but as wat? and with what mentality? To earn $, to gain status, to get PE cert eventually or aimlessly. After his talk to me, i think i will not be focusing on consultancy firms for now.. since my aim is $ as for now, and working as engineers in consultancy firms (Not as RE) dont get as high as site engineers, or as high as gov't engineers and even RE. So now, i intended to look for jobs as site engineers/RE, but then, if a job at a consultancy firm can fetch a resonable pay, i will still be considering it. Becos after all, i fancy consultancy job over site job. Anyway I cant reveal the pay offered by the companies. The first company offered me a contract as a site engineer, i am considering. Today's company offered a contract as an engineer in the consultancy firm, but i doubt i will accept it due to the pay.. and i might be returning to this company to apply for RE after grad.. if i still cant get a job then. Heard from Shi Hui that HL called the civil students today at ard 7pm. I was in interview then.. and my phone hanged.. so i dun have any idea if the company called me, cos there isnt any record on my hp.. cos it auto shut off... Now, i hope they can contact me again. I wanted to have more option. Applied to CPG consultancy yesterday. Hopefully will have answer from them asap. Job finding isnt fun. LOL. But it is enriching. And i can predict in future, i will be of no life.. sian.. cos of the job nature. That is life.

Anyway, today went for singing class again. And got a surprise from my mortal , KB. She sent me a nicely wrapped box of FA cookies as my belated bday gift! Was v thankful for that thoughfulness. And when Leona said that there is a huge parcel in front, everyone was like.. wah.. this angel of hers is v lucky lol, got such a nice gift. I dare not collect till everyone left, except Leona and her cousin. So now Leona and Sure-ly knew my identity lol. Anyway, my angel is constantly giving me notes.. felt that i was v passive as angel or as mortal. need to start a bit of action soon, else will seem a little bo sim. And presentation 2 is coming soon. Intended to sing O Sole Mio.. and even signed up for it. But after talking to Leona, she adviced me to try what i wanted to sing initially , which is Isabel, and if i couldnt, i could still change the next week. ok, give it a shot then! No harm for this fun fun GE. Must enjoy on stage!

2008-03-04T11:05:00.001+08:00

Need a dosage of liveliness! Yooohooo..

Empty

2008-03-03T20:54:00.002+08:00

..

Ever felt so lonely?

2008-02-29T11:46:00.002+08:00

Today while walking up a sloped road along one of NTU's construction site, the damn big metal stand tripped me, and caused me to fall on all fours on the damn grainy and dusty road. And then i was holding my dear handphone.. so it also suffered the same fate as me.. to be scratched by the damn road surface. Lucky thing is we both didnt suffer major scratches.. only v minor ones... but the mere sight of my phone being scratched was unbearable to even look on. Argh. heart pain. the phone i am so proud of suffered some disgusting scratches.. and now it is scarred. lucky thing is it is at the side, so not too obvious. but i still feel super low after this.

FYP! Today no lab, cos need to wait for delivery by a manufacturer for the rods we ordered for. so.. i am here in lib .. sleeping later.. and mourning for my phone.. though it is not spoilt.. so heart pain..

2008-02-23T17:44:00.002+08:00

From a personality test that i tried before... it said sth which I myself cannot deny. It says:' You are one who will feel lonely even when in a crowd.' I think that is probably due to a lack of goal in life.

Isabel

2008-02-21T23:22:00.003+08:00

It marks the end of one chapter of my life. We had been in love for 5 years. Throughout this 5 yrs, she had been silently working away her most glamourous years, just for me. In between this 5 years, i had abandoned her time and time again, but she never left me. I thought she would be with me forever, just because i take her presence for granted. And now, sadly, she left me. No more of her sweet reminders that i needed from time to time. What is left now, is just a void left behind by her, which left me wandering in the loss of time. My dear, if i had shown you with more care and concern, i believe even if you were to leave me, you will leave behind sweet memories of when we were together. Now, you took away all..everything.. i dont think i will ever find another you. Because.. you r unique, you r a commemorative watch. Yes. She is gone. because while waiting for the dearest 179 ,which i had missed one before that due to overwhelming passengers, i mishandled her, and she clashed to the rough granite pavement.. head on..shattering all the dreams i had with her. leaving only pain..in my heart... i had no money to replace it.

Been focussing on Isabel these days. She is not only romantic, but also challenging. I had to observe every part of her, to know her inside out, to make her as if she is mine. Only a few weeks left, before i am going to announce to the world, that.. me and her.. will be together, on the stage in ADM.. hopefully, Leona will give her blessing to us. Because i needed Isabel.. i needed her to get me my degree. Woo.. super addicted to this song now!! Maybe cos the spanish words r challenging to pronounce.

Tml is quiz... but i had 2 more tuts left untouched. sian..dunno la.. later see how.. cannot finish i also lan lan..

Well, happy V day. I mean Yuan Xiao. This flooded me with memories. Heee, i will miss them. My tang yuans.

Lost in the maze..

2008-02-17T03:30:00.003+08:00

Upset, yet not intense.
Happy, yet it is so short-lasted.
Crazy, a moment only.
Anguish, underlying everything.
Guilty, it is just like the background counts.
Hopeless, sometimes..
Helpless, when hopelessness creeps in.
Disappointment, when the world is seemingly against me.
Feel good? It's like catching the shadow of the moon in the water-- elusive when i tot i had it in my net. More like an illusion, but it is a good feeling. And surely this illusion felt so real sometimes.

Let's not be pretentious

2008-02-15T00:10:00.002+08:00

Was a bit upset after all, but nt that intense, which i dunno is a gd or bad thing. maybe in the first place nth took place. hope to be good enuff one day, to find the one who will share with me one love one lifetime.

Actually i love V day.. but somehow, when it is that day, i hated it.

CNY2008!

2008-02-06T12:12:00.000+08:00

Ｔｈｉｓ　ｆｏｎｔ　ｓｅｅｍｓ　ｗｅｉｒｄ，　ｂｕｔ　ｉ　ｃａｎｔ　ｃｈａｎｇｅ　ｉｔ　ｂａｃｋ．　ａｎｙｗａｙ，　ｉｎ　ＮＴＵ　ｌｉｂ　ｎｏｗ，　ｗａｉｔｉｎｇ　ｆｏｒ　ＹＪ　ｔｏ　ｍａｋａｎ　ｌｕｎｃｈ　ｔｏｇ　ｂｅｆｏｒｅ　ｈｅａｄｉｎｇ　ｈｏｍｅ。 ok, now dunno what i pressed , the font changed back. ok, since i am waiting now, and really felt lazy to do any work, shall blog then. Next week got coastal enrg quiz on wed, which i almost forgotten... haiz.. this is jialat sia, no time to study for it.. anyway wan to review abt what i did recently. Last week is full of work, and as far as i rem, friday went out with Wanwei,Chiew, Brian and Heng to shop. but i bought nth.. in the end, i went to TM on monday to buy some new shirts. Got a nice pinky HP polo tshirt and a long sleeve stripped white shirt. was quite ex even after discount. and Yesterday met up with KW ppl again, had been meeting v v freq these days. We went over to Holland V to dine lol, and after which went over to Cold Rock to have ice creams. intended to lau yu sheng, but in the end, maybe will lau in sch, probably in chiew's hall? i dunno, or maybe on chu si, cos we meeting again to go hse hopping.. lol
Today, reunion dinner, can say in the past rd was nt that interesting , but as i grew up, maybe mellow abit.. find that simple affair such as rd is indeed blissful. hope can mj with mum , bro and sis tonight, must win a bit for my allowance! lol wish me luck!

And before i go..

Wish all,
　　　身　　　鼠
　　　　体　　　年
　　　　　健　　　快
　　　　　　康　　　乐　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　

2008-02-02T16:51:00.000+08:00

These days, my temper is really getting v bad. It is getting bad becos i always had this short and bad temper, but recently i blew out of proportion for the wrong reasons for a couple of times. Everytime after i blew up, i will feel v sian and demoralised, maybe i knew tt by blowing up wont solve problems, yet i still cant contain my anger. Today even almost get into a fight at bball court. damn bad. It could be due to stress, lack of sleep, my own self, or even circumstances, but i think overall, there is a big need to divert away from these excuses of my eruption, and focus on when to identify that i am getting out of control and stop myself before anything blew out of proportion. This is impt, cos i really dun wish to see me one day get into any trouble that i will regret for the rest of my life due to my temper. Maybe, as JT said, all i need is someone to be there to soothe me and tame me lol, and she could well be around me all the while.

ORD lor!

2008-01-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

Some things r best said out. really nt gd to keep it all inside.

Final yr is really FAN ah!! Today while gg home with Otard and CCW, Otard mentioned that we r gg to ORD soon. Indeed, from studying.

But he mentioned that this ORD dun have the feel sia, no one seems to have the ORD mood. Then i added, we havent clear our ETEP or ATEP. This is so true, where got mood?

2008-01-25T00:55:00.000+08:00

stress mounting over the weeks, finally, i cant take it almost anymore, came the deadlines, and the unlucky breakdowns of equip. and all the stupid tots, and all the uncontrolled temper, and all the loneliness, and all the confession, and all the questionings, can we dun think too far ahead?

Recharged/Recharging

2008-01-13T19:02:00.000+08:00

Still recharging now, though hols over le. FYP as usual still stagnant. Machines up, but spoilt again when i starting to use it. Best FYP. Nth to say abt it.

Ok, over with the sad things. This sem taking 4 mod , instead of 3. Cos last sem failed one. So, the schedule is kind of more pack than expected. But it is still slack.. considering 1 is a GE. The GE damn nice la, The teacher is a pretty lady with cute smile, charming and sweet voice, and really pleasant look. Nothing to pick from her. LOL. enjoyed gg to her lesson, can stare at her for 3 consecutive hrs. Got to be Diminuendo's grp leader, cos i am the most senior in the grp. The rest r Year 1 and 2 students.

Talk about yesterday. Went for bball which is quite a short simple and close-knitted session with HK and CG. Then went over to Pasir Ris to meet up with the KW's ppl. We r doing BBQ after last week's KTV+dinner. And waited for Maria-Linda for like 1.5 hrs...... That is a suffering for me and JianXiang. Then went over to the pit which was a bit muddy due to the earlier rain. And we waited for the rest to come at ard.... 6 plus. That is a long wait. but good thing is all the things r prepared by the organising side HengSwee, Brain n Shiong-Ge. And soon, by ard 7 everyone came in. ChiewLin,Weichun, Gina, Wanwei, John, followed by Shaoqi who surprised me Linda and Brain at the girls' toilet LOL. eh.. we went in to fetch water only la.. dun think stray. Then, Shiong ge is the iron chef for the BBQ. His culinary skills is nt bad, as we all know. And so, i didnt do much, only stand ard and eat. A bit lazy LOL, but i feel nua cos after bball. And meanwhile, we also played games with forfeit. I am the most unlucky person. Did forfeit of 7 times, with 1 time escaped when i went to get tissue... And most of the forfeit is suggested by me after i tio one forfeit, and thus, the subsequent forfeit gets more and more disgusting. Ate one marshmellow with samba, chilli and onion chilli sauce, chocolate cream,honey and dunno what... all in a mouthful. i almost vomited out the food. Really disgusted. Esp with the honey in it. So weird. But overall, was really fun. and we played more games... and eventually came to a point when i casually mentioned that my bday is on the coming week, and jokingly reminded them. i nv expect them to rem my bdae too lol. and then Linda and Wanwei even sang a happy birthday song which is supposed to placate me lol, cos i said other pits are all singing birthday song, maybe they all can sing for my birthday w/o any celebration. then, came weekiat, together with chiewlin and shaoqi, came in from the carpark with the bdae cake. wah, surprised and happy! at first tot is for shiong ge, cos his bdae just passed,then while singing the bdae i directed to him. then suddenly they look at me and brian, then we both know it is for us lol.. and from heng's bag came out a big present for me, presented by Wanwei. and brian got his from Weichun. It is a cool bag from Zinc, which is dark brown and leathery. just nice cos these days i am thinking of buying a backpack for myself to replace the PEAK bag cos it damages my clothes. And really like the design, which is too cool for me. i am nt that cool, thus Wanwei said must change image.. which i dun think i can.. And she gave me a nice little photo of our last sat's outing at Chomp Chomp. Damn nice. LOL i asked Linda to help to put in the little card holder in my wallet. Haha, i didnt know Brian's wallet got secret weapon one. lol

And we cont, with all the food session, and board and card game session. Cos the fast forward ppl brought many games there yesterday. and eventually , ard 3am, Linda wanted to leave for her beauty sleep at home, and soon Gina and John left tog too. Left the remaining 10 ppl, (oh cos Tee Seng is in Msia, so didnt came with Wicky.) and we all stayed till morning to try to catch the Sunrise. Caught the rays, not the yolk, but nevertheless, we still wore our smiles for a grp pic with the sunrise as the backdrop, despite all ready to sleep anytime. And the drivers drove us back to our destinations, with the happy memories and full stomachs.

thoughts-->emotion

2007-12-29T00:32:00.000+08:00

For the past 1 month, i had tried nt even to mention abt it, becos i am aware that the worst and most unreluctant consequence which i dun ever wan to accept might just come true. And when yesterday's clock struck 12 midnight, the truth is finally out. And yes, the worst happened. I failed the paper which smashed my wish of maintaining clean record in uni years, which is nt to bao any paper. Failures r hard to accept, and for me, who is so stubborn , defensive and of cos, put in 100 percent in the paper, i cant swallow this shame. How can i fail it, when i worked so hard for it. I knew during the paper, i totally went blank. Becos, i didnt expect anything like that to come out. And that spelt doom for me. Argh. Yesterday, when i first saw the result, i didnt have any reaction. things went on as normal. but as the hrs and mins seep by, i could feel that the disappointment slowly sunk in. and it was really painful. i couldnt accept the fact that i am a failure, when in the past, i am the one looking at others failing. really hard to accept. And i couldnt get to sleep in peace. everything seemed so gloomy today. Just cant accept the fact of being a failure. i know i am catastrophing things. I know this is a small failure. But to me, it seemed big, cos i fight to avoid it, yet it haunted me. when i least expect it, in the final year. While at Wanwei's party today, everything that bothers me seemed to clear off, temporarily. And Linda told me that i shld be glad that this is nt my last sem. true.. but i cannot handle this deadly strike to my pride. Painful .. --1230am

Talked to many frens online (Chiewlin, HL, Zu)abt the incident,and also my bro.. they made me realised that this isnt a big problem after all. yup, as Zu said, i cant keep stepping on the same spot. must pick myself up from the grd.. that is life. Ups and downs. I always take ups for granted, and see DOWNS as a big thing. retrospectively, i nv give myself a pat on my back when i did ok/good, no credits for the things that r expected by myself to achieve. But when i hit a pitfall, i will bear all the blames by myself.that is miserable. Now, i will give credits to my good peformances in future, and will pick myself from the grd, shake off the blame burden, and try to move on, when i fall.

Frenship--fragile if nt taken well care of

2007-12-24T04:38:00.000+08:00

After a lengthy period of consideration, i had come to a conclusion. Some people whom we know, and regarded as frens, are actually not frens in reality. Why? Just simply one thing that can differentiate a fren from a school mate/classmate, the former bothers abt u, the latter not so. I can tell who r those whom r frens, and those whom are nt, and maybe nt so worthy to be called frens. Sad, but true, they seemingly doesnt have any interest in ur comments, and maybe doesnt bother abt ur existence. Maybe one day when u r gone(migrated or what lah), they may feel not much difference b/w the past and present.

Alright, i am quite disappointed, cos i already identified one. maybe we shldnt ask sth in return when lending a helping hand when others r in need, but sometimes, when we r deprived from the basic care and concern when we most needed them, we expect those whom we had cared for when they most needed us, to shower the same concern on us when we r down. That is human nature, isnt it? when our expectation of such person doesnt fulfill, we will be disappointed, and when come to a point, prepare to lose the frenship if such situation holds for too long.

To that person in mind, u r absolutely a great companion in the past, but i had been disappointed, nt becos u had done sth wrong, but becos i expect too highly from u. Nt ur fault, nt mine too, i supposed all r nt fated.

Kids' World

2007-12-18T21:22:00.001+08:00

Joined the annual Kids' World held during Dec again. And today went to sch to take a piece of model details, before meeting YS and co. During the meet up, what KB said about VM and WSC , although i can agree to of his points, but i think he is over critical of the purpose of certain dept's existence and purposes of activities like Kids' World. I think different ppl have different perception towards an activity. For me, the existence of VM is to encourage voluntary work. And yes, the operation is not as influential as other depts, but i think that voluntary work in Sg is in its infant state, thus if VM is nt operating in a way that is like other depts, tt it is kind of ineffienent ,i think we shldnt just criticise and condemn it's existence, but we shld really make an impact by putting ideas into actions, if we really want a change of attitude in VM members, and Sg's voluntary youths at large. And the best way is to participate actively and voice out changes that shld be made. But i felt that activities like Kids' World is kind of introduction to youths to what is voluntary works like, and that shldnt be too stressful in its contents. So it shld be fun, and, of cos bring joy to the children too. Ok,no hard feeling abt his words, but i felt tt he over criticise the cause of certain event. Some times, if we dun ask too much from sth, we will find joy doing it.Is tt what we r trying to constantly achieve in life? Happiness and satisfaction.

Thanks!

2007-12-16T17:35:00.000+08:00

Erm, thanks to those who showed concerned abt last entry lol. But i am totally alright la, just some grumbling abt this world. Not at all serious. Yeah. Just now met a neighbour of ten plus yrs outside when i am returning home from the lib. haha, have a nice chat with her, and she kept mentioning when i was young, how naughty i was and now how 'guai' i have been .. LOL, guai sia, i felt a bit like a child when she mentioned that i was guai. LOL, and she told the people in the queue.. A Bit embarrassing lol, but it is a compliment mah, so of cos i appreciated that.

Tonight, Arsenal is versusing Chelsea. and Man U against Liverpool. Big clashes. As usual, i dun like looking at the action, only like to read the results and report/postviews of the matches. waiting for the result. hope that Arsenal will win. and hope that Man U and Liverpool will draw. lol.

Tml is the Kids' World's first day! haha, so fast! but as a 'ex-VM' member as the GL said, haha we r v experienced. WAHAHA. lao jiao sia. so shldnt be a problem with the problematic kids. cos it is only a short 3 days stint! I think the girls will again feel emotional at the end of the camp. as usual... -_-

And looking forward to the release of the exam's results! looking forward to graduation!
and of cos, the SAKURA, mahjong and over night stint we bball gang have organised for the upcoming Xmas!

FUCKED up world

2007-12-15T18:11:00.000+08:00

This world is fucked up. Everything. Yes i am self centred. I THINK I AM RIGHT. DAMN. IF U WAN TO MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND. DAMN, U CAN WAIT all u wan.

Those category 1 arsehole R the worst. FUCK U!

The cat 2 ones i can tolerate. DUN TRY TO STEP ME ON MY Tail. Fuck u ALSO!

The cat 3 ppl, alright, i know i always vent on u. BUT PLEASE for goodness sake, I AM V DEFENSIVE. DUN Offend me IN a way u also will feel BAD if i did it upon u.

I CANT TOLERATE THE BASTARD WORLD ANYMORE. IF there is a way, I WAN TO GET out of here. ALL by myself.

The very best of all

2007-11-09T00:29:00.000+08:00

Ok, retype.. just now damn internet Dc.. everything's gone before i can salvage my effort.

This is the very best of recent entries, i am trying to make up to those readers who came here but always left with dismay cos the author was just too lazy to update..

Ok, Summarise a bit ... bought a beauty home recently. My Nokia 5310 XpressMusic!!

Chic right? got this image from http://www.1shopmobile.com/catalog.php/1shopmobile.com/ct/pd960437

it was v slim and YL kept saying that it is really gorgeous when she saw my phone.

I also like this phone too. The functions though isnt as many as its counterpart's (5610), but its light-weight won me over. Bought the blue one cos my previous phone was red. Wasnt even considering it when i went to the stubhub outlet in TM. Just looked through the displays.. and this caught my eyes.. and it was a music phone! That matched my needs.. cos my MP4 was spoilt.. damn sian.. Ok, now this phone is gg to battle with me in the upcoming exams.

Some pic taken in bball court last sat.

Recog the uncle? Haha, yes, he was an actor in the past. Remember all the chinese serial dramas that he acted in SBC? Think only our era of guys know abt him sia. Actually had seen him quite sometimes in the Bball court le, just didnt manage to snap a pic with him. now, isnt that a reunion of some sort? Ho ho ho. and notice my Harry Potter specs.. this is my JC specs, i supposed.. or is it sec sch? so funny right?

Went airport to study today.. was really a good time back in the same place where i battled my papers a year ago. Still remember then when i studied overnight at the airport for the next day's steel paper. Didnt sleep at all ok, and roamed ard there till morning.. the midnight's airport was just so different.It is a shelter for people from all over the world who transitted at S'pore then. But of cos, i would never want to stay there for the wrong reason again. Very tiring experience.

Alright, all the best to those who r gg to have papers soon. And, wish my good luck for the upcoming papers too!

Mistakes

2007-10-28T15:12:00.000+08:00

I had mistakes with out realising them. Now, i am starting to feel apologetic. But i am relieved that the mistakes are not very serious.

But i think sometimes, time is the best medicine for healing such wounds i inflicted on others, cos i seemingly cant find any better way to make them feel better.

Almost got into a fight yesterday. V v bad temper management on myside. Now i had made a proj member agitated thru some miscomm.. Really need to think thru.. being over sensitive to others' behaviour is the main cause behind such unhappy incidents.

From funny to fan.. i really need to jian dian.

Well, i need to be responsible for my own works, so need to jiayou, though mood is nt that good.

2007-10-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

This weekend passed really quickly.. a blink of eye and we r gg into monday. frankly, this weekend i felt so unmotivated. Only completed 1 tutorial. That is all. nth else. played games, watched tv, played bball, slept and my weekend passed, just like this.

Been catching Lovers in Paris every Sunday. Oo.. think the show is not bad. like the casts, cos i think their actings r superb.

Wasnt feeling exactly alright on saturday. Was quite grumpy then, so chatted with yangshan over msn. and i remembered that she mentioned that we always got into argument, cos of really different ideas. haha, but i didnt notice that we even argued before.

And recently, i felt that a fren of mine is hiding something from me.. some comments or views tat she had.thus, i felt a growing gap in the frenship. but it isnt anyone's fault, everyone had everyone's private space. Just that i believe the frenship had reached a bottleneck. Maybe some ppl really cant click with other ppl.

Bball-- Ok, nt too bad this week, and tank 1 stepped on my new shoes, shit!

Weight-- well, dropped 2 kg 2 days ago, now bounced back with vengence. eh.. maybe is dehydration.

Hope to go out, but..i think that is just a motivation, and it will remain a motivation till end of exams...

2007-10-10T18:55:00.001+08:00

I just cant understand, no matter how much effort i put in, there bound to be such situation, where the error i made in the test is not beyond my limit. Meaning i could make it right, but i didnt do it during the test. It made me felt guilty and at fault. Like as if i didnt study hard enuff.. felt the stress i induced on myself is getting lesser, but at the same time, it is getting more intense everytime i felt stressed.. to the extent that my chest will feel tremendous sharp pain.. i fear that one day, i might have a sudden heart attack or stroke. This is serious. If the occurance made me dead, at least it is alright. The most fearful is that i am still alive, and paralysed. Bah.. i just couldnt take lightly of Win & Lose situations. Is this called perfectionistic behaviour? I dun wan be seen as a grade obsessed person, nor a success-obsessive person. Cos i despise such ppl. But i cant accept failure easily. Talk is cheap, doing it is difficult. I am just wondering is this cant-accept-failure mentality of mine preventing me to explore new arenas, where risk adverse ppl like me wont dare to step in? I could ruminate and be grevious of whatever mistake i made, cos i believe i could get it right, but in this world, rarely we have a second chance, so let's not indulge in What IFs.. Then again , talk is cheap. Doing it is hard. These thoughts r nt sudden. It keeps coming out in my mind whenever i failed in anything( failed, in my own context.. maybe others see it as alright, but to me, i feel utterly disappointed) , and the cause of the failure , to me, is because of me. Let's not mention failure in studies, cos that is too frequent a disappointment to me. but, as long as i felt my interest being depleted cos of certain thing tat i FELT i have under achieve, i will felt to have failed. Now, isnt that obsessive? Obsessive about perfecting certain things that i held high esteem of?

Life is suffocating. Everyone seemed busy. Hope i can live out this gloomy period and enjoy the sunshine after the rain. But then again.. i dunno how can studying without worries of how to get my 3 meals a day be so torturous. Arent i too frail? Or is the way how human psychic responds?

SELF-DEPRECIATION ENTRY.

2007-09-26T21:51:00.000+08:00

Fan AH!!! WHY MUST THINGS BE SO RUSHED?? why id Is so tough and i am the bloody leader but have not much idea of how to lead them on!? really felt lost, regretted that last time i didnt put in more effort..I feel so sucky@!@ really a damn useless leader. fucked up.

DAMN.. now i know why certain ppl made certain judgement.. is nt that they r picky, is just that i am not competent. maybe i can achieve thru sheer effort, i really cant achieve when it comes to intellectual, and less said abt being sure of my capabilities.

In school

2007-09-21T17:49:00.000+08:00

Haha, yup, still got mantou.. really forget abt this bun. she is a passive loyal reader. Thx for the unsaid support lol.

Alright, today is a v slack day, only got HRM and EnS lessons. and the meet up for ID follows, but, didnt really do much today.

I will be gg to school for one day, and gg for ID for another day , during the break.
A bit sian, but i think this is gonna be one of the last few holidays that i will be having as a student.. must cherish it, though work is piled up for me to accomplish during the 1 week's stint.

So tired.. Feel like sleeping now.. but cannot.. must study a bit... cos tml is BBall DAY!

Ok, i know that the ppl gg may be less than 5, but i am glad tt i can go for bball after such a long break from it... 3 weeks sia! Ok, alright, i dunno what i can type le.. feeling damn tired after the ID meeting.. i need some rest... maybe by playing my scrabble..

2007-09-21T00:31:00.000+08:00

hmm, think no one reads my blog entry nowadays lol, cos i have a period of entry drought since the start of the yr till now. lol. think yj is my most loyal reader lol, cos i didnt expect her to read the more updated thingy.. thx dudess

ok la, been slacking for a long while.. and tml supposed to present to FYP tutor some stuffs.. but he got some conference tml and so tml i am free.. but need to go back campus during the break... sucky hor.. but no choice.. that is life..

Jiayou! Jiayou! Jiayou!

2007-09-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

Hmm, Today's Ens's presentation,due to ill preparation, i personally find tt i flunked it. sorry to my grp members. hmm, but i am lucky to have them to encourage me after that. Will surely repay them in the 3rd presentation! Jiayou! Jiayou! Jiayou!

2007-09-16T02:15:00.000+08:00

ROARS! Arsenal bounced back from last season's misery and is now at the top of the top league in England after winning by a 2 goal margin at White Hart Lane. Impressive, as the visitors came back from behind after gg down by a goal and eventually emerged winner with a comfortable scoreline.

Today went for the mob briefing with hak nan and changyu. We alighted a stop after the camp and had to ran all the way to the guardhse.. cos it started to rain... and the rain got even heavier before we reach any shelter.. so we 3 were so drenched when we reached the auditorium. Met joseph n eugene. also met weibing who was a TPJC junior there. Was also surprised to meet daniel from S14 too, though he wasnt there for mob briefing. Qiao sia.

Took eugene's car to TM, and me hak nan and chang yu went for a quick lunch before the 2 of them went bugis and i went home to wash up and took a loooong nap till 530 pm. LOL.. was soo tired.. went to airport to study till ard 11.10pm before catching the late night train. but didnt go home immediately .. cos wan to finish up the tut. so went over to 24 hr mac to study on.. so qiao, met desmond there, who was chatting with his fren. studied till ard 2am, before saying bye to them. Was a monotonous day. Not boring though.

Then i suddenly had a thought. Some ppl who r physically nt that developed r achieving in their pursue for knowledge. I really admire these ppl's undying perservence. Not easy ok.. must go to sch everyday, and all the big big small small thingy to handle. and also got to deal with mental stress that is more than what the abled-body students have to deal with. haha, natural selection is beaten by the determination of mankind huh.

Trust or plain DUMB

2007-09-14T01:05:00.000+08:00

Sometimes telling a fren abt ur closest thing isnt really that comforting. Not the fren's fault, no secret spilled, just myself being too suspicious, but How can i dun?
If the truth brings abt discrimination, then i am disappointed. But that is the fact of life. i cant blame the fren. Just blame it on myself. Maybe everything shld just be kept in where i have kept for the past 11 years. For the moment, i felt like having support, and the courage to reveal the truth came. Didnt know it turned out to be this bad, BAD FEELING. I know everyone r busy, no one really cares about others. Even if they r frens(or is it just school mates and play mates only?) I am also guilty of that, cos i neglected one fren when he needed to talk to me the most. This world is cold,it is all abt how u benefit from others, and how others tap on u for their own interest. Humans r selfish afterall.. Right? Humans live for themselves, right? I had read a book during army.. it really attacked human nature and pushed it to the corner. Everything we did for others, EVENTUALLY IS FOR OURSELVES... IS IT REALLY TRUE? to do charity work, is to ultimately make ownself feel elated. A mum caring for her kids.. is cos of sense of duty.. and in return she herself will feel happy herself. is it true that even the love of a mother for her child is also a selfish act on the mother's side? I DO NOT WISH THIS IS SO.... I feel empty out of a sudden, maybe i believed that illogical and seemingly TWISTED logic.. MAYBE Humans r just created like this. NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO.. THEY THEMSELVES must eventually benefit from it. NO.... i dun wish this is true. But.. I cant see light for this issue.. Am i thinking too deep? or is becos my belief is too shaken.. the book's idea seemed to grab my mind. NO! I CHOOSE to believe that MANKIND r loving creatures. YES,the author is feeling jealous. HE is!
HE didnt receive love from his surrounding ppl, i supposed. That is why the book is out.. out to haunt those who r being cared for.. I Dun wish this to be true, it seemed like a satan-sent book. No doubt, it is the work of a devil. Dispose it if u have..

Ok,a tonne of rubbish in my mind. Damn it. I really dislike this feeling, IT IS A BOTTLED UP feeling. ALL BOTTLED UP. Must vent it here. but i realised.. no way is anyone gg to care abt this entry either. But, i still have this small flame of hope, hoping tt someone might care abt it.
That might be the kiss to break the curse of thousand years...

2007-08-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

These few days were getting kind of stressed.. with more work and projects. and recently cut down on dota games too. and i can see that the action yielded pretty positive result. also bought some new books at a super low price! have been reading a lot lately.

today ended pretty early and i went home tog with yujing. and on the way back, on the train, there is this little girl who leaned on my arm and slept thru out her journey. haha, i didnt even dare to cough a bit, so nt to wake this peacefully sleeping kid. felt like she's my daugther! lol.

well, lately had nthing much to update though.. hopefully i can rem sth to blog here in the coming days.

Phone call

2007-08-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

Received a half-unexpected phone call from Nina today. Actually, she is leaving the company tml, so i expected she will call me to talk.. as i can predict she will feel terribly sad leaving the dept. And so, we started chatting as if we had just met yesterday.. talking abt the ppl in company.. the good memories soon flooded our minds. A lot of catching ups were done too. I am actually very pleased that she still remembers to call me when she is leaving the company. cos she said she will call her assistant on the last day. and a few days back, Liang Hong (a poly IA student) msn-ed me, asking me if he could go back to the dept for part time work.. i am v glad to hear that.. it means that the dept meant sth to him.. though he is with our dept for only a month. I said Chee Yong will be v glad to hear that from him. and i was right! Nina said he called back a few days ago to request gg back.. and CY was quite joyous to hear it from him. And nina still reminded me of her 21st bdae present.. haha , which is due in another 2 months 4 days. ok la, will save up a bit to give her a nice present lol. and as usual, gossips of everyone and talks abt Frankestein remained our most enjoyable topics .. though we know it is nt gd to talk behind ppl's back.

So much time together during work, and we both didnt admit that each other r good working companion.. till after we departed from each other's daily functioning social circle. She said that she must admit tt i am a good fren, haha , cos i tolerate her bad temper for 7 months. I feel v touched at that moment.. i tot she nv realise i am giving in to her all the while , cos she is just a kid after all.. lol.. but thanks god lol.

Hmm, back to school nowadays.. and as usual.. seeing a lot of frens everywhere. but somehow i dun feel like talking these days.. some of them i just say hi and bye.. and walk off.. for some, i simply walk past them without acknowledging them. but I guess, i will also miss NTU after i grad. cos it is really a very nice place to be with frens and to learn.

2007-08-06T00:23:00.001+08:00

just chatted with a fren.. wooosh.. nt tt she purposely said sth which made me feel v guilty, just tt i am holding back sth .. and by nt saying out, i felt tt i was being nt truthful (cos our frenship is built on frankness and occasionally crappiness) . Sth which i would only like myself to know. To no other ppl will i like to tell. and i felt tt she didnt see the real side of me, by not knowing abt this particular condition of mine. i am with a v heavy heart now.. not her fault, i say, just tt i feel super vexed and confused.. full of self blame.
But i shall nt sink further into this mental turmoil, cos this is definitely nt the solution out of the trouble. i would need to face the days after this particular moment with hope, i guess i will see the light, i am quite sure.

Last Moment

2007-08-01T00:51:00.000+08:00

Today officially is my last day at work. Kind of she bu de the dept's frens. Will miss them a lot, cos the time spent with them is enjoyable and the harmonious bunch of lunch kakis r nice ppl. Overall, i received many gifts from them. got a t-shirt from the whole dept, chocolates from RF and auntie from pavement dept. got a digital photo frame from nina and also the best wishes from them. shumei treated me good today.. didnt suan or scold me at all.. felt so weird.. but was happy then la.. and JA finally lent me things after the incident.

the guys didnt say much or did much more than how they usually treat me. and oh ya, i remembered hw nina told me b4 i left: u ah.. must grow up ok (she's only 20 tis yr.. say till like my mum) and dun go out and do what u did in the office (which r mostly jokes that they will remember for lifetime) and hor.. must remember me, get married must invite me hor (she is yearning to get married to her bf asap .. tt is why she keeps tinking of getting married and stuffs) whao.. felt a bit emotional when i left -- when nina jokingly said dun cry lol.. reminded me of aileen's last day at work..

wan to thanks everyone at the dept. really appreciate them. will have chance to meet up. hopefully everyone still remembers each other by then.

at the gate, met IT's 2 colleagues.. first time talked to them.. and perhaps it is the last time. anyway nice to break the ice before leaving. talked abt army stuffs and company stuffs.. didnt realised a chat that is made in the last day can be so easily strike up.. regretted that i didnt talk to them when i saw them last times... that is human.. always cherish the last moment and nt the process. but looking in another perspective, at least we caught the last glimpse of heart warming gestures from these ppl. bu4 wang3 chi3 sheng1.

met up after work with kids world ppl (sioux mixed mickey). they before meeting me went to watch The Simpsons.. and we met up for dinner.. after which, the remaining guys went to play dota and also arcade games, before gg to get a quick bite for supper. cool.. i like today.. really.. maybe i felt more like a human since today is full of emotionally charged moments. the recent months i felt as if i am numb from all type of feelings..

ok.. school term soon ... haiz..... everyone take care! and see ya soon !

Mp3 spoilt ='(

2007-07-30T15:32:00.001+08:00

This is one of the things that i dreaded.. mp3 player isnt working.. and the warranty just expired.. cre8tive just gave 1 yr of warrant, which i think is kind of too short. Hey i spent a few hundred bucks on their prodt (plus i replaced it once for 125 bucks) and i am only entitled to 1 yr of warranty? i know i sounded it out a bit late, but i realised 1 yr isnt long.. and my mp3 player is still v new. and now the charge for repairing could cost well up to 100 dollars, which i might as well buy a new prdt. i'd heard that their maintenance and support isnt gd, which i couldnt judge, but to me, i think their prdt maintenance is certainly too expensive.

Ok, some people out there may think this way: a poor guy shldnt be complaining abt the maintenance fees and indulge in such luxury, if in the first place he couldnt afford the maintenance fees.
Oh well, but that is none of ur business.

Ok, some ppl will maybe talk to me in this tone: U lar, so clumsy, didnt take gd care of it.. there u see, now spoil liao, haha , u deserve it.
Ok, i admit i am v careless and is rough to my gadget, but again, none of ur biz.

arghh.. but the gd thing is that now i have an excuse to MAYBE buy the new Z-en stone +, which i had been aiming for, ever since nina told me abt it. 2GB, 99 bucks, small and light, chic in design and comes with an LCD screen. but again, i need to consider, it is cre8tive's prdt, meaning the warranty may be as short as my old mp3 player. i dun know abt other brands' warranty period, but to me, 1 yr is a bit too short. maybe this is the standard length of warranty for all mp3 players.. but isnt that too short? 1 yr = 12 months... 12 months.. is so short! 356 days man! if i divide it by 300 (minus weekend and pub hols) 1 working day of the player will cost 1 dollar plus.. excluding my own electric bill for charging it.

ok, read the news, Iraqi team won the asian cup, hee, and i am happy abt that, cos the dark horse outshone the rest! and isnt it great that the team brought along a rare occasion for their war-tattered country to celebrate in joy(or perhaps unison)? i believed the players did play every game for their folks in Iraq.

alright, temp work ending tml, i am quite happy with the short stint with the dept, will definitely miss the environ .. a lot of ppl in the dept r leaving soon.. and what will be left r only memories from now on..

what shld be done

2007-07-02T20:19:00.000+08:00

today, while lunching with my colleagues, CY asked me whom i went to watch Nancy Drew with. knowing his teasing power, i denied to answer his question.. but the seldom-talk-to-me SM added that my denial would hurt JA. i guess denial=seems sneaky in their eyes when everything is normal outing and stuffs. And while with Nina today, i told her why i denied, she said she understood, but she said i was immature when come to handling things like this. I knew i did sth wrong when i denied.. but that was nt v obvious. But i used a lame excuse to decline Thurs' movie trip due to the lunch incident, i knew it was a foolish decision, yet i went on to execute the act.. and of cos.. incur the wrath of JA. But she didnt know anything abt the lunch talk though she was just beside us.. or perhaps she chose nt to believe in what she heard. Hmm, after nina explained to me and advised me to proceed with Thurs' trip, i'd decided to act on her advice. I felt bad to lie to her.. but my negative emotions ran high when i tot of the possible rumours that would be coming after Thurs' trip if ever anyone happens to discover us. I tot i was selfish, as what Chris said before.. only caring abt how i feel, and not how she feels if she knew abt my actions. Tsk tsk.. i felt that i am a total sucker at that pt of time.

anyway, today had a new part time colleague whom is also from NTU. she is from ENE and happened to know YS and YQ. kind of chat with her during lunch.. and she is definitely intrigued to know what is going on thru' our conversation during lunch time. and she knew a little secret of mine too fast for a fren this new. my blabbering puts me on a spot now..

post ICT

2007-07-01T12:54:00.000+08:00

ICT made the week seemed v long.. haha.. but this ICT is quite slack.. i shall nt mention what we did in camp, so as not to jeopodise national security. But this ICT surely brought a lot of wonderful memories to the platoon, cos we had really good times together in camp. after ICT, met up with platoon ppl(Neo, ZK, Benny, Andy, Ah-Lau and Watt) to have steamboat at Bugis. Ah-Lau treated me to beer and i had no choice but to take a mugful of it. After the drink ,Was a bit tired , cos didnt rest after out-processing.but anyway, we still hanged out for a little while more to walk ard, before gg for dessert at Liang seah street.

Gamed with tse and wb that very night till 4am. missed dota terribly after the no book out stint of 2 n a half days. Woke up late the next morning for bball.. luckily i didnt miss much as the rest of the gang also came quite late. Had the best session ever since dunno when. lol. the highlight is the last 2 matches, where uncles sent their line-ups whom v much outsized everyone of us in our line-up. But we still won them consecutively in 2 matches! our team consists of kiat, HK , kester and me. i tot we would be sent tumbling out of the court from start, but unbelievely, HK and kiat's on form defence sent us on a 2 match win streak. V much like a finals we played, can see tt the team is v spirited after the wins.. =P

went home to wash up before meeting Steven, Kes, CG, HK and Goat for dinner. Had a super full meal at Hereen's Billy Bombers. There, lol, me and HK caught a cute waitress whom looked so much like JiaXuan, but she is definitely much prettier than her. And the service there is nt bad, making the dining experience enjoyable. After which, we went Cine to jalan ard, before deciding to head for home. On the way, met Geraldine (aka Lisa) and her fren. Since she asked me to accompany her back to Tamp, but had to walk to DG station, therefore i departed the rest at Somerset station. Whao, this is the 1st time we ever chatted this long, but we struck conversation with ease. and we chatted till ard 2am before i head home after walking with her to her block. felt like sleeping then, but didnt.. lol, and played a game of dota. i wouldnt regret the decision! cos i had a nice 4 v 5 game! saved the replay and think will send to wb to let him see how good the team is under such adversity of lacking in manpower.

ok, shall stop here. need to meet up with Hk and Cg for a running event soon. cya and wait for next update then

ok, updates of my boring life

2007-06-24T03:07:00.000+08:00

ok, let's start from monday. Went back to office to rush report. nthin much happened. except that the food court we went to in afternoon is flooding.... TOILET waste water.. WTH! The whole court stinks!! wah.. must endure the smell and eat.. isnt the best option to stay on.. but we r lazy to get a change of venue.

tues. Site survey as usual.. but met HK while doing work! this is so qiao...Intro him to nina, whom stayed at the same block as he does. and after work, went to watch Nancy Drew with Juann. Was alright la.. i dont expect much .. so doesnt have high hopes on the prdtion..but since it is watching with free tickets.. i dun really mind =)

wed. As usual work.. but lunch time went to eat our beloved chicken lol. shall bring the bball guys there one day to try sia. a pleasant day, cos Sm is on good mood.. so didnt give me her trademark black face..

thurs. went to do site survey again.. went back to office after which to rush reports.. and met up with A04 guys for dinner at Esplanade sia.. and went bowling after which.. my skill getting from bad to worse for bowling sia..=(

fri.went home from work exactly at dismissal time. Got home and did a lot of planning for next sem's time schedule. Busy night for me =p

sat. Well, went to office to work.. and i OT for 4 hours!! till near evening time.. wah.. my greatest achievement ever since i joined the company sia. Then met HK they all at bugis area to walk ard simlim and makan at BK. lol.. got a HUGE packet of sunflower seeds.

sun.. shld be packing for ICT..ICT is v sian.. sian.... i miss my work... supposed to do midnight work one.. but due to reservist...i cant do it!! haiz.. promised nina to bring stuffs on the coming midnight task one.. but now dun have the chance liao. ok.. late night now.. been dota-ing for long.. need my sleep. night ppl!

2007-06-13T16:54:00.000+08:00

haha! i just found out that the miso chicken meal at KFC is damn nice sia, but am nt eating it many times. Reservist coming up real soon... really sian sia.. dun feel like gg back to camp, esp since last month's mobilisation. but heng lor.. this time is hanging ard yishun area. Well, this sat i am nt available.. cos i am gg for BBall! HAHA and kester is back! yeah, this sat is the only thing i can look forward to till now.. besides sth else...

2007-06-06T17:06:00.000+08:00

ho la la... IA ending this friday, but work continues for me till Aug as i cont'd as a temp there. I guess i am lucky to get a good working environ ba.. hmm, most of my frens cant wait for it to end. So, a job in future for me shld be based on good working environ, reasonable pay and accessibility. These 3 r the most impt till now. The rest ( promotion , prospect blah blah blah..) hmmm, that can come later. Been gg to U tube to watch Mr Bean's comedy these days.. those retro ones lol.. damn funny sia.. but he can be quite evil...a little satanic at times.

当你孤单你会想起谁？

2007-06-02T21:52:00.001+08:00

在异乡的朋友们，应该是会想念着家人和挚友吧。
在热恋的情侣，应该是会想念着他的她或她的他。
在为考试埋头苦读的学生，应该是会盼望着电脑游戏里的人物吧。。。哈哈，我猜只有我是这样想的人吧！
当我身在人潮里，心里却感到空虚寂寞时，我总会想着在天空默默望着我的星星。。。
but recently when i am alone and feeling troubled, feeling depressed, feeling inferior, feeling unwanted, feeling the whole world will be against me.. i dun know why, but i will think of her, and the thought of her bring me some warmth..

anyway, cheers! June is here! it means reservist......ROAR!.. who is scared of it.. but i simply feel so dreadful when think of gg back to camp......

我怀念的

2007-05-27T21:32:00.000+08:00

《我怀念的》，相信大家都听过这首歌。其实，听了后，我有许多感触。

我怀念的。。有刚读过的那本漫画里的独臂投手的感人故事。
我怀念的。。有与她在一起的时候。
我怀念的。。有在当兵时与同僚的患难与共。
我怀念的。。有妈妈还年轻一点儿的模样。
我怀念的。。有与篮球好友在烈日当空下玩乐的时光。

时间是个无情的水手，在岁月的海洋上导航着我们每个人的船。

2007-05-15T20:46:00.000+08:00

she gave the tix away in front of me, felt a little guilty, but also a little funny.. funny.. cos it seems so dramatic. then till now she didnt even say anything to me.. think like zj says.. shldnt say out that and make her lose her pride.

arghh.. shld concentrate on my IA and reports, and basketball and dota!.. This fate thingy.. will come when the time is ripe.

2007-05-14T19:29:00.000+08:00

I am sorry tt i misled u.. the tix u shld give to another person who is more worthy.

everything is said and lost every hope.. but gained every relief

2007-05-13T22:04:00.000+08:00

maybe i am just not talented, not smart, not goodlooking, not eloquent,not confident, not that comfortable to be with, and i am really bad at finding timing to say certain things..i guess what i got is only this little bit of courage.

I really hope that things will not be in this way the next time i ever find another her.

2007-05-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

woke up feeling v v v tired today.. cos yest slept late after watching Spiderman 3 with WB, HK, HL, AhLiang & Andy. It is a v nice movie! I supposed when u r gg to watch movies of this sort, u will need to mentally be prepared that the plot of the show will somehow stray from the original plot since it is impossible to squeeze series of comics into a few hours of animation. And they (movie makers) r to give us a satisfactory ending to this trilogy.... isnt it tough? So in the end Venom had to die... so as to bring about a happy ending... which isnt the case.. according to the others who watched with me.. well, a movie packed with actions, special effects, emotion scenes, humour and morals to be taught.. nv at any pt of time felt tired despite having a shiong day of work yest. so must really commend this movie!

Today, went to do reports and had a delayed lunch (by an hr) . Rushed a report and thus stayed till ard 745 pm in office.. though think dun have OT pay.. but it is ok for me.. as i had nth to do after work. Really happy at work place.. =) Just feel sad to hear that the colleagues there r soon gg to quit after their contracts end.but i guess that makes our togetherness even more cherished.

2007-04-30T20:17:00.000+08:00

want to sing , sing a song, a happy song...

wan to go ktv.. the yearning for it gets too overwhelming these days... but just that chance doesnt hit upon. so time and time again, i couldnt go...(i couldnt go alone)

and so.. i went to lib to read up on the latest FOCUS.. yeah.. this issue nt bad.. and i also slept a well in lib.

Before gg off, met MeiJun on duty.. and she is gg to S.Korea next week.. so shiok.. i wan to go S.Korea too!! But think now in no position to say anything, cos no $$..

2007-04-26T18:39:00.000+08:00

Life at workplace had been relatively interesting=) However, today i had an argument with a colleague. Ok, i shallnt say who the person is. But i am kinda pissed off with his attitude.. ok,in this case, no one is at fault OR both r at fault, depends on how u see the situation. But i feel quite agitated, so find another colleague to talk abt that.

Hmm, from this incident, it triggers my perspective abt frenship once more ever since it had been dormant since army days. I once again realised and it further reinforced the idea that those frens who appear to be able to clique well with me in the beginning of the frenship will normally behave otherwise in the progressive stage. but the vice versa doesnt frequently happen though (why so unfair..) However, i will not be like some of those who had encounter similar situation as me ( they in turn treat new found frens with a protective layer of wariness and disguised their true self from the person.. cos i simply cant do tt, i will go mad!

protagonists of environment conservation had been raising awareness of reducing wastes thru the BYOB campaign n i can see ppl in supermarket starting to take some discipline in reducing plastic usage.. and that is good !! lol, quite pleased with the society's participation.

2007-04-16T00:47:00.000+08:00

Went to have steamboat with dmt, ys, yj, val and hn. hehe.. nice spot we have chosen.. so no sweat thruout the meal. Thru out the meal have been disturbing dmt, hehe.. dunno, felt dmt is so cute today Wahahaha! after which we went to swensens for ice cream.. ordered the SCC... and i felt tt the choco ice cream isnt as thick as before.. haiz.. n it is quite plain for a $7.30 ice cream.. nevertheless, we all gained sth cos we knew of a BIG news from hn.

now feel a bit unwell.. maybe cos i drank too much water.. over loaded.

felt like puking all the food.. and will sleep when i feel less full...

2007-04-15T11:17:00.000+08:00

Wohoo! Friday's chalet and BBQ is fun and lively =) lol, did some office work in the morning before going to purchase stuffs for the night's BBQ, which we didnt buy on thurs' trip. and travelled ard in the open air van to different places n nina's hse, but the weather is extremely unkind... rained v v heavily =( 克里斯 , me and LiangHong (his last day in the company as attachment student) were trying to survive the trip at the back of the van, cos our van is FLOODING! and they had to endure my lunatic behaviour lol, cos i was singing and laughing in the rain thru out the trip.. and i even sat out of the shelter that is partially covering the van. LOL. Had a deep cut at Nina's hse, and bleeded for ard 10 mins before receiving treatment. went to her hse to get the marinated chicken, which r v nice!

Checked in early n went to purchase more stuffs at the nearby Loyang point.
And went to White Sands to purchase more food stuffs from OCK b4 gg back to set up pit and get ready food stuffs for the BBQ. And soon everyone started arriving one by one... n the workers all dressed v smartly for that nite! and we started to eat n take photos. at the other corner, kelvin, CY, YW and aileen(aka ah nia) were challenging each other of their drinking ability. that nite is full of liquor and alcohol.. can say got ard 10 odd bottles of liquors and wines ard.. and the challenge easily cleared a few bottles. lol, then the mahjong party started. the games session was decided to be called off due to the inappropriate ambience. so i took out the prizes which were wrapped up v nicely by 美眉 n me (mine is a not as good though) and everyone started to undo the wrappings n scavenge the food n wine inside.

lol, then me yanto CY and LH started our mini gambling den, and played daidee. Overall, i won 40 cents heee..
then seeing so many people r idling, besides the gambling ppl, i decided to ask for playing blackjack as it can involve more ppl at the aircon room upstairs. was expecting to start early on that, but the girls who bathed earlier complained that the guys r reeking of smoke n alcohol smell, and demanded all of us to bathe. so the bathing took a long while...... till after mid night, cos there r a lot of us.. n there is only 1 bathroom. some of us even went to the swimming pool, hmm i mean the bathroom there la.. to bathe.

And played cards till morning.. i lost some money, and ah nia won the most, near 50 dollars, although our bets r v small. haha, but was v fun thru out. n took a ride from 丰胸 on his flooded van with some of those who wish to leave early. slept at the back of the van... didnt realised tt he took the looooonnnng route to send me to my door step till we got on the expressway. -_- lol, thx btw! n bid goodbye to LH whom i may not see as freq as now anymore. n slept from 7 to 12 noon, then from 1-6pm. n from 2am to 10 am this morning. tt is quite a lot of sleeping ah..

and after this chalet, is the real work... the dept will be sooo busy.. tt even when i go back to sch, think they will still be running ard for the upcoming project.

2007-04-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

Haa, forgotten to mention sth! Yesterday my dept managed to get thru 933 consecutively LOL.. and tt is quite fun listening to ur own colleagues talking on air.

Today... Aileen ordered all my kakis in office to go site, except me.. cos i am doing a report then.. LOL.. and that means i am the only student left. But not bad la.. work isnt boring today. and i went to dentist after work intending to go for a normal checkup only.. ended up spending 850 bucks T_T.. cos on the spot i decided to have an operation to remove a lower wisdom tooth. and also did some fillings and treatments.

The dentist is v humourous and the nurse is v adorable, she keep laughing thru out~~ lol.. nv feel this relax (though still a bit tensed up) during an extraction--to be exact.. an operation.

No pain at all sia.. good! till now no pain!
only a lot of blood.. i look like the anti smoking campaign woman now LOL

yeah. i am happy! cos no decay for time now! LOL.. money well spent. and worth spending!

Tml gonna go shopping for food for chalet sia! haha.. so cool.. see if i am fit to go or nt.. cos today just got an op sia..

2007-04-11T00:36:00.000+08:00

Forgotten to add in one good news... and 1 bad news...

Good news: Sat heard tt 同叔 is gg to the site visit himself. Yeah that means i can stay overnight in chalet peacefully.

Bad news: my tooth beside the wound(after wisdom tooth extraction) is aching sia. Now i am not sure is it decaying, or is it the wound is inflammed. But i feel tt the tooth is very likely to be decaying. Now i hope tt no extraction will be needed. The worst i expect is to get filling. ok.. gonna see dentist tml.. and that means more money to be leaving my wallet.

I lost all dota games today. T_T

And i am v tired. night !

2007-04-10T20:13:00.000+08:00

Today woke up late! at ard 810.. and i rushed all the way to office and reached there at 850am. whao.. tt is quite fast, considering i missed a train and didnt run there.

Work is alright. In the morning did some of the game planning. and did a report for 美眉. And during lunch time, there isnt any executive level ppl accompanying us to eat, and somehow could feel tt everyone's mood is lighter, maybe we could chat abt things the non-executive level ppl would normally discuss. and we stayed more as a grp when finding a place to eat in the busy mall. but i guessed the narrow age gap among us is the reason why we converse more today then before ( oldest is 26 and youngest is 20). and all of us went to pasar--as named by nina-- to buy spices for marinating the chickens. nina is gonna marinate for us =P thx!

and our lunch ended at 2 lol.. 1 1/2 hr of lunch.

afternoon, was starring into space in some instances.. too tired due to a v v full lunch.

and my laptop is having a minor problem of jumping key! as in i maybe typing a sentence, suddenly the cursor will jump to many lines before the line that i am currently typing.
and my mouse cursor is suffering from mild shivering...u know.. shivering... my desktop mouse is suffering from moderate shivering.. tt is why when i am playing games on my desktop, i will need to plug the laptop mouse to use on the desktop..though both r shivery mouses.

2007-04-10T00:53:00.000+08:00

Copied from tou-er:

Dear sicky day: i am feeling sick today. headache a bit, dizziness a bit.. Is it due to prolong hours of computer-gaming? or the frequent girls-gazing? or is it due to the earthquake in dunno where.. or is it due to my damn neck pain?

ok..tml 大头芬 is gg for course, n think the following days i will be taking over part of her job. And she today suddenly become v nice sia.. treated me sth to eat during lunch.. and lol can see the rest r 'jealous' =P, cos she didnt treat them! hehe. That is such a joke!

And think the chalet this weekend i may not be able to stay thru out.. cos i might need to do site survey on sat, despite it being an unofficial dept off day. That is super sian... i wan to gamble thru the night! hope 同叔 will be kind enuff to not to call me out for site visit this weekend! cos it is v far and i wan to stay thru the nite in chalet!

And Kelvin strike a big sum in 4-D sia.. maybe will get a small treat from him this week.. oh no... 大头芬 is gonna miss this good thing hehe.. maybe i shld just take her portion since i am the ps of hers hehe!

2007-04-08T19:32:00.000+08:00

Visit this link site.. lol.. v fun knowing more abt ur childhood fascinated characters.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doraemon

Cheers!

Pictures from Internet of the 2006 doraemon movie just watched on U tube.. Lol.. very touching =P

2007-04-08T19:25:00.001+08:00

In this story, it is illustrating abt the adventures nobita and his friends had with his discovered pet dino, in a past world after travelling thru time using the time machine. But they were trapped in the lost world since the machine was spoilt. and while they had to find the way back home, they also had to fight off baddies who wan to capture the pet dino.

2007-04-08T11:20:00.000+08:00

Had a weird dream yesterday... and had a even weirder dream today. but today's dream made me realised one thing. be responsible for ur own decision. cos one will regret and be v confused (if he is struggling btw his own interest and moral values) if one made a choice tt isnt what one really wants. Dont make decision based on the first impression sometimes, cos that might be a decision made on impulse.

Went to this eating place called Nikon Mura near the newly renovated swimming pool besides the tampines sports complex with HanLip. Heard abt its 99 c sushi from Nina, so went to give it a try. I like the idea the restaurant is using in ordering food, though it is a bit inefficient at times. But it allows the customers more freedom in ordering. overall, the food is alright, but a bit small portion. can give it a try though.

yawns... tired and sian.. these 3 days have been wasting time away. wanna go back to work asap. hehe. becoming a workaholic? no la... just tt now dun have tuition assignments, dun have bball session, dun have sch works, will feel empty without doing anything. i would rather work 6 days and have a day of rest. lol.. and work isnt much in company though, so isnt tt taxing after all.

badminton

2007-04-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

Just got back from badminton with tou-er and yj. we booked from 6-8pm but only managed to play from 7-8 cos both of them r late after work.. nvm, still a lovely evening cos we talked abt life at work in the mac nearby before heading home.

orh, i have decided to name my colleagues in nicknames in this blog in future.. lol..cos all of them have nicknames given by one another! Today, 克里斯 named me as PS of 大头芬, in short personal slave.. lol.. cos i am always at her disposal nowadays. And Kelvin asked me to take up the task of being the gamemaster for the upcoming dept chalet. lol.. so have been brainstorming for appropriate games with 克里斯 , and have came up with a few ideas.. gonna make the preparation and get the necessary items before the chalet! first time being a gamemaster sia.. and i have organised my dept KTV on tml! and attendance is pretty good sia! 11 people gg.. surprising the recently-met-with-minor-road-accident-妹妹 aka 美眉 agred to go under my persuasion! LOL.. she had been pretty cold towards me in the past, but recently finally talked to me. and 丰兄 aka 丰胸 also agred to go after nagging by the 2 admin girls lol.. they gonna ostracise him if he isnt gg hehe. and alex is gg with his gf too, and it is a pleasant surprise as he said he isnt gg yest.. hehe.. quite happy. hope tml all of us will be having fun!

2007-04-02T20:22:00.000+08:00

haha, have been quite onz in dept. i suggested KTV since i can see tt most of my colleagues r keen to go. But i dunno when can most of them make it, or what is the number gg, so naturally i asked those perm staffs i am closer to to ask for me for the details, cos i am a student there, who isnt as close to others as them.. so i think if they ask, it might be more convincing to boost the attendance . But somehow there is one colleague who misunderstoodm my intention.. he said that i am throwing the task of organising to others while i am the one who is interested to go. i am like -_-... and i rarely bring it up after i asked them,cos i dun wan to sound too enthu.. might not be nice if the response is poor =P

so that is the sian thing...

and on msn tried to chat with some frens, but seems that they r busy with their life and isnt willing to hold small chats. a bit disappointed la, but again that is their freedom to make the choice.

ok a long while didnt update...

2007-03-31T20:31:00.000+08:00

yup, let's recap abt this past week.nothing much at work, except that i am suddenly tagged to be J-A's personal slave in office.. cos i helped her do a lot of the documentation and delivery. and SM and J-A have accepted us into their clique. and we lamed abt a lot in office... and the dept is planning a KTV session and chalet in the upcoming weeks! Hooray!!

Went KTV with tou-er YJ and val on thurs.. v nice session! enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Today went bball, and it is a nice session too.. managed to control my aggression and short temper. That is why games r enjoyable.. not cos of the win/loss. well,and had a haircut.. and that is REFRESHING =)

well,been dota-ing too much these days... but after work also sian.. nothing to do.. so dota lor... actually planned badminton with tou-er YJ YS and wil.. but didnt have court.. so in the end cancelled it.

yup.. looking forward to work on monday! realised i really enjoyed companion from my colleagues. planning to extent my IA. but still not sure shld i complete my last GE or not.. and that reminds me of reservist. yack! fast sia.. and my ippt.... havent clear yet.

Boring boring sunday

2007-03-25T15:17:00.000+08:00

So bored can?

Recently, my laptop is giving me 2 scares.. 1 incident is its corrupted windows file.. the more recent one is the speaker scare in which the speaker setting is changed without my knowledge and is not reinstated after altering.

Watched Mr Bean on Holiday. Damn funny! I laughed thruout the show. haha.. Mr Bean is satanic at times, he will cause pain to others without knowledge of it. haha. but he is also a person who can survive thru the toughest time.. esp when he lost all his lugages( eh.. suddenly I 'd forgotten how to spell it.. is it correct?) and even his passport! haha.. and he is helpful and full of sympathy for others at times.. like one part where he stepped onto a man who is lying on the beach. I can hear the whole cinema crying in pain for him! everyone went ^Awwww~~~~^ when he is being stepped. The effect is fantastic! haha.. LIVE one somemore. WAHAHA..

again, boring boring sunday.. i am looking forward to work.. to being 'tortured' by J-A again LOL. no la , just joking .. is not a torment la.. haha.

Ok, enough!

2007-03-17T22:27:00.000+08:00

This morning is a damn pissed morning. Not that i am pissed with myself onli.. i am pissed with frens who tot they understand me and critised me without standing in my shoes.

but firstly, my company hasnt pay me yet! It is rumoured that the pay will be delayed from 1st of March to 15th March... which is the second consecutive month with pays being dragged. And now.. even till 15th they havnt even pay us.. and the perm staffs have already ALL received their pay on the 1st of March already.. U mean the company is so poor to even fork out less than 5000 dollars for the interns when it had already forked out more than 50 grands (assume 50 ppl in the company and each receives 1000 bucks ONLY) for the perm staffs? What is the finance dept doing?

ok back to the morning incident.
1) to zu, no offense ah.. but i think that there is no valid comparison as in the people i was exposed to in sch with those that u have exposed to in work. I never agree that i am exposed to human nature less then u ,Zu.. u r being too subjective in the morning when using this pt. that is why i didnt even manage to listen it in.

2) Please be in shoes... Dont keep critising me as if I NEVER put in effort to change my way of playing bball. U mean u didnt see any change from the past as compared to nowadays? Dont say that u all have been tolerating me and stuffs.. i also have been trying to improve. BUT see it in this way..IFu have a body as heavy as mine.. and IF u can react and move as fast as me.. u will know what i mean by being helpless to control my actions on court. I mean i am really serious when playing.. so i wont have this half heartedness to go for ball when i see the chance.. Ok, my reaction and my ideal outcome of maybe getting a steal or what may be defeated by the force of gravity on my body. the inertia is too great to stop when i am already accelerating. AND who ever think that my action is with malicious intent on my friends or fellow bballers (except tanks sometimes.. cos they simply offended me when they bullied my frens on court).. i think i have never see u as a friend from the day i know of ur existence till now.

3) I never ever wanted to fight, but if u do, please find some ah bengs outside who r more willing to kick ur ass than i do. pick a fight on them if u dare. Do so then come back to pick a fight with me.

4) If i offended u and said sorry.. and yet u r trying to be difficult.. U SIMPLY WILL TURN MY DEFENSIVE NATURE ON. I Will NOT LET U GO UNTIL U HAVE ENOUGH OF ME.. and if u wan to pICK A FIGHT WITH ME.. FUCKING REFER TO POINT 3.

5) NEVER EVER CRITICISE MY FREINDS OR ANY RELATED PERSONNELS WHEN U R UNHAPPY WITH ME. IF U DO..DONT BLAME ME IF I REALLY CANNOT TAHAN AND STARTED CURSING ALL THE PEOPLE THAT U HAVE LOVED DEARLY. AND I MEAN EVEN THE SMALLEST CRITICISM ABT THEM.. U WILL GET IT IF U DO IT AGAIN.

6) If the bball team really cannot tolerate the way i play..and insisted that i didnt put in effort to cut down fouls and knocks,despite knowing my increasing body mass and consistent reaction and movement speed,and is oblivious to the fact that i have realli tried to cut down on all the fouls and knocks.. and the fact that i am trying to control my temper during a game when i am very highly charged with adrenaline, then please tell me that u all will be happier if i never ever play bball with u all again. i can make sure that i wont participate in any bball games with u all ever again.

7) i am sorry for my ill temper at times.. but this time rd, i think that the whole episode is blowing out of proportion cos MAYBE , I SAY MAYBE someone's ego is hurt by the fact that he lost to a bunch of losers that he perceived right from the start of the match. OR MAYBE he always see me as a pain in his neck.. COS I AM AWARE THAT HE NEVER EVER SAID ANY POSITIVE THINGS ABT ME, INSTEAD HE KEEP FUCKING TRYING TO FIND FAULT WITH ME THRU OUT THE YEARS. That is why he can kick a fuss out of a small incident which IS ONE-OFF AND PURELY AN ACCIDENT WHICH I ALREADY APOLOGISED FOR THAT. AND HE USED THAT TO CRITICISE MY FRENS AND EVEN MY FUTURE GIRLFRIEND.. I DONT SEE THAT AS A SMALL MATTER U KNOW.. AND THE CRITICISM IS OUT OF NOWHERE.. OBVIOUSLY AIMING TO AGITATE ME.. AND WHEN U DO THAT, DONT FUCKING BLAME FOR BEING SO DEFENSIVE.

THAT IS ALL.. I AM TOO TIRED TO TYPE ABT THIS INCIDENT.

Today:

afternoon went to sing KTV with Shunli ShuFang and Liqing.. whao.. the 5 hours is really long.. sang till i feel really satisfied. Shunli went to meet Dinosaur, so me and the other 2 girls decided to go for dinner after tat. i suggest to bring them to Amoy street from chinatown... since my survey had covered these areas.. and i know how to walk there from the ktv. Then to our disappointment, a lot of stalls r closed on this sat night! ... and we walked ard and finally reached far east square NOT FAR EAST PLAZA LOL.. and settled for a Jap restaurant. We r v glad that we unintentionally chose this place to dine.. cos the food r rather nice (ok, the ramen i ordered sucks..cos the ramen is actually maggie mee!) but those that LQ n SF ordered r v nice.. i will try the chicken one if i ever go there again.

2007-03-12T20:50:00.000+08:00

hmm... today is a slack yet nice day! Wohoo.. why nice?

1) Nina challenged me to Sudoku again.. every morning we had this competition in the old office.. between me and her.. and in the new office, we occasionally will have it. Today she challenged me to 2 puzzles! haha.. The first one i had won her! LOL... after losing numerous times to her.. finally, i beat her by a great margin. and the second one is a terribly tough puzzle. she gave up, while i continued and completed it by using last resort of making a guess between 2 squares.

2) Today a lot of big shots in my dept didnt come! LOL.. so happy.. cos it is v relaxing when the rest of the big shots r away from the office. and today the best scenario is left with Rongfeng, alex, weihong, ju-ann and me! only 5 ppl! yeah!.. slack ard..

3) Our tutor is finally coming over T_T.... LOL.. on 23rd.. yeah... actually nothing to be happy abt la.. but tat day we can slack a little while, while he interviews our sups.

4) Lunch at canteen nearby, had the mixed vege rice served in buffet style yet again! this is 3 out of 3 visits there eating at this stall! Nice food, huge portion, and it is V V cheap! and it is served by customers taking the food themselves.. so can help myself to more food at the same price LOL.. the stall owners r v friendly couple too! always wanting to give more and charge less.. nice nice.

5) Ju-Ann finally interacted with alex me and weihong when the office left with 5 of us.. and found that she is a nice person too.. when she didnt scold.. LOL.. ok, i sounded as if she is v old.. haha keep scolding.. but in fact she is younger than me.. and i knew yishan's fren.. who happens to be her SP friend.

6) Saw this girl who looks like rosanne of 2R on the MRT. ok, i admit i keep looking at her.

7) This morning, while on train.. a v friendly old uncle came forward to strike conversation with me.. haha.. cos maybe he noticed that i was looking at a pregnant woman who wasnt being given up a seat to.. and he was furious abt that too.. that is why he tapped on my shoulder and said that nowadays Singaporeans r selfish and non-gracious. i of cos said that some r like that... with me and a few the exceptional =P.. LOL.. ok the last statement is non-existent.
and he even went to the extent of saying how much his children gave him as allowances, how his son changed gf like clothes.. and how his daughter refuse to get married.. LOL.. so funny.. but it is nice to feel that he actually trusted me.. and he said that he was in sales line in the past.. and he knew who is sincere while talking, who arnt.. LOL.. i hope that i am the sincere one in his view.

8) Dota. again, i know....